112 Comments
User's avatar
Smibo's avatar

And "never, EVER think for yourself"!

That's what we have Fock Snooze for. How many times do I have to tell you? Also, tell your asshole friends to stay the Fock off our lawn, too. And where are my tools, dammit?!

L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

Aww, what a cute nickname your love has!

blaid droog's avatar

It's a real pleasure to know that republican assholes can fuck up any state in the union.

blaid droog's avatar

it's to the advantage of the ruling class to have as many ignorant disposable drones as possible.

blaid droog's avatar

after five years living in san francisco, I returned to Florida. even with nosferatu for governor, Florida is less of a shithole than ca. like, you know man, that's just my opinion.

blaid droog's avatar

especially in otherwise quiet restaurants.

IndianaKevin's avatar

Wait, you mean I've been doing it wrong? Oh man, I got some 'splainin' to do!

IndianaKevin's avatar

Because oral sex isn't really sex. Never mind the "sex" in the label.

IndianaKevin's avatar

Seriously. The Quantifiable Harmists are professionals.

kbbaldwin2's avatar

That area is our own little Alabama.

kbbaldwin2's avatar

Altho I agree that a Jimmie Choo does deliver a vicious punch, I've read that a Mitzy "Pretty Lucretia" four-inch heel is the most dangerous footwear in the world.

Pugsandcoffee's avatar

My parents never had "the talk" with either of their children (I'm 39 and my brother is 42). He shacked up with a girl a few years before marriage and I'm gay.Ergo: not talking to your children about sex = homosexuals and fornicators.

MongoJustPawn's avatar

I love Wonkette, I really do. But the stupidity that you keep reporting makes me drink too much. Way too much. I'm not sure that you're good for my liver. I can't believe this story is not from Texas.

Lefty Mark's avatar

Clovis, NM LIBEL!!!!11!!!1!!!!1

Lefty Mark's avatar

I benefited from personal tutoring by some girls in the neighborhood. I owe everything to them.