Activist Judges Grant Hypothetical Terrorist Constitutional Right to Kill Us All

Take a look at the gentlemen to your right. Would you trust him with anything besides perhaps being an effective, physical power forward for your National Hockey League franchise? Of course not! So explain to us, please, why a federal appeals court isn't allowing us to lock him up forever and ever without charges?

The United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit said that just because Ali al-Marri was in the US legally, and because he's a civilian, and because he's never actually taken up arms against the US, the Justice Department can't call him an "enemy combatant" and torture him until he confesses to thinking really mean things about America.

Now the US has to either charge him with something (which they already had, actually, before they reclassified him and sent him to South Carolina), deport him, make him a material witness in a grand jury case, or find another loophole in that whole quaint due process thing.

Mr. Marri was reportedly thrilled with the ruling and announced his plans to join with the ACLU in blowing up your teenaged daughter's favorite shopping mall as soon as the court-appointed homosexuals free him.

 Judges Say U.S. Can't Hold Man as 'Combatant' [NYT]