644 Comments
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eddi-SABH's avatar

Did she fall? Or was she pushed?

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Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

Martini some brain fog bot attached itself to my comment and needs to be squashed as if it's a tiny bug under a gracefully rolling rhino!!

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Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

I freaking love rhinos and will hang out watching the rhinos just stand around at the zoo. Best thing I ever heard about rhinos

Dumbass Dad (DD) Look at the winos!! The winos!!!!

Smart Daughter (SD, about ten but already knows the deal with her dad) No, they are Rhinos, one of the coolest and most majestic animals around.

DD No they are winos!! Winos!! Get it?!?!?

(One rhino chooses this moment to poop out a giant pile of poop)

DD Ha!! Did you see that!!! Winos!!!!

SD Rhinos are still cool and majestic and smart. She knew how to respond to you dad.

DD ummmmm.......

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

“I meant to do that”

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Nuernburger's avatar

How in the hell will that rhino get back up? What if it can't and needs human intervention. How do you help it?

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Antifa Commander's avatar

What if you’re Leon, a replicant, and you don’t give a shit?

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weejee's avatar

Rhino slip slidin' away. Who knew they were body surfers?

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Stanta Knows's avatar

Look like me trying to get the trash can out to the curb in the snow yesterday. Muddier though.

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Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

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Menotsure's avatar

The Rhino Slide sounds like a 60's dance craze.

🎶C'mon baby let's have some fun

Get up on yer feet and take a run

Drink Martini Smashes and when yer done

We all fall down and show our buns

Slip down the slope and take a ride

Everybody's doin' The Rhino Slide.🎶

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Shocktreatment's avatar

The Pretenders had a B side tune, back in the 80s

"Remember the nights I cried

you were doing that old Cuban slide

All night I tried and tried

I could not master the Cuban side..."

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Menotsure's avatar

Double entendre?

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

Something about the Dirty Sanchez, maybe?

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Menotsure's avatar

It's a real style of salsa dance.

https://youtu.be/VrS1lXlejkk?si=M3ej1E56NPmO_m8X

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

I was thinking of Dirty Sanchez I heard Howard Stern refer back in the 90s. I need light shed on this. I am confused.

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

It's got a good beat and I can dance to it, 10/10.

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Menotsure's avatar

"That was the Rhinettes, everybody."

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tehbaddr's avatar

That reminds me of something

/rummages through interwebs

Here it is!

https://i.makeagif.com/media/1-26-2016/f_RDVk.gif

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Schmannity's avatar

I thought this was McConnell on the Capitol stairs.

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Crip Dyke's avatar

I was just talking about that...

https://substack.com/@pervertjustice/note/c-91704734

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Eileen's avatar

You win.

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Chicken ate my Ballot's avatar

*tugs on Martini’s cape*

Good morning Martini we’ve got a fog bot on the top of last night’s open thread.

Would you honor us with a Martini Smash?

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Done. Now gotta get Hooper to invent a Martini Smash.

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Chicken ate my Ballot's avatar

1000 blessings on you and your household!

MARTINI SMASH!!!

Mr. Hooper? Your move!

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asmallmacropod 🐨's avatar

But it’s tomorrow night.

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NatalyaResists's avatar

Poor Buddy just froze, all upended!

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memzilla's avatar

"I *TOLD* you not to run at the pool, Sidney"!

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Day drinking rhinos... They're my spirit animal now!

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C&A Bongo Man's avatar

Rhinoplastered?

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Regret's avatar

Isn't that when you get stupid drunk and wake up with a new nose?

Drunk plastic surgery is worse than drunk tattoos.

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belfryo's avatar

Win..❤️

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Shocktreatment's avatar

"Drunk as a rhinoceros" too many syllables

Rhinoplastered...𝘙𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥, much better!

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

A: Elephino!

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Tim Walz, that you?

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

:)

I remember the Unknown Comic telling that joke on The Gong Show back in the day.

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Craig Nixon's avatar

Fun fact: There is so much debris in my car that I suddenly become The Unknown Comic on a regular basis, from stuff blowing up out of the back. A little dangerous for driving, but it's an ongoing routine by now.

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Stephanie Hobbs's avatar

Funny how saying mediocre men sets so many off. Are there that many of them? Fortunately, the men I know are far from mediocre.

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StillTrying2AgeGracefully's avatar

DODGY

Doge* is not dowzh. Nor a dog.**

DOGE is dodgy. Illegitimate. Deceitful. Untrustworthy.

Doge is not efficient, it is the blast of toddler anger at his inability to manipulate the blocks so the building doesn’t fall.

Doge is not artful, as in Dickens. It is simply penultimate rage.

Doge is the primary school student hitting his classmate because they call him names.

Doge is Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. Cartoonish.

It is the teenager bringing in the muffler ripped off his car denying he knows how it happened.

Doge is malicious.

It is the man planning vengeance on the woman who turned down his request for a date.

Doge is destructive without understanding, or caring, the consequences of their actions on 351 million other people in America.

Doge is obstructing the proper working of a several-hundred-year-old edifice that has not granted the rewards, and deference, that two men believe they are owed.

Trump, Musk and Doge are DODGY.  Spreading lies and deceits to enrich and protect only Donald Trump and Elon Musk.

They are causing irreparable harm without reason. Simply because they can and no one has stopped them.

Yet.

Call the whole scam what it is DODGY.

________________

*   [U.S. unofficial and so-called Department of Government Efficiency]

** Kabuso was the dog behind the “doge” meme. She was a sweet shiba inu who died of leukemia and liver disease in May 2024

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William McCann's avatar

Slide on your side, slip slide away!

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Pilgrim's avatar

Speaking of poetry, DID YOU KNOW that The Poetry Foundation encourages submissions for their magazine _Poetry_ from anybody, not just "poets"! They get 150,000/year, and they say they have a staff that reviews each one. Nice! It's more proactive than tying your manuscript to a tumbleweed, at least ONE PERSON will read it!! https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/submit

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

So obvious by their reaction to Jasmine's statement that they know in their hearts they are mediocre .... at best. Otherwise why would they be insulted?

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Alternative Dog's avatar

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘺 25 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘙𝘚’𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘭

And maybe this year, for the first time in my life, I will join the ranks of people like TFG and lie my ass off on my tax filings to pocket a few thousand bucks. It's not like this assministration will fund the IRS to go after economically comfortable tax cheats.

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marxalot's avatar

I don’t even know HOW to lie on my taxes. Like, I don’t own anything, and I don’t make any money, and the standard deduction is probably more than I’ve spent in whatever you can deduct (sales tax? giving my broke friends money doesn’t count as “charity” and my car depreciated to negative numbers years ago). I could invent a spouse and nine dependent children?

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Alternative Dog's avatar

Yeah, I wouldn't really know how to cheat either. I'm retired and don't have anywhere near enough deductions to itemize so I suppose the only route would be to claim Snow White and the seven dwarfs as dependents.

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

At least that Rhino wasn't carrying a glass container. How do Rhinos carry anything? Ask Freddy the Pig.

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

I used to own a bunch of LPs from Rhino Records.

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

"Auto-blow" is good coinage! In the magnificent passage of organic language time, soon it will be "autoblow." And if you don't think Rebecca's new term has not many usages, just look up the definition of "blow." Think cocaine. Think coffee table. Think sneeze.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

HuffPost: Federal Officers Are Blocking Entrance To Department Of Education Building

"Rep. Maxwell Frost (D-Fl.) posted a video Friday that appears to show federal officers blocking the entrance to the Department of Education building in Washington, D.C. Video Frost took shows officers inside the building, denying access to representatives outside.

“And right here they have armed officers acting like we’re dangerous,” he said. “A year ago, I’d be able to walk into this building and not be locked out. This is what they’re doing. Elon is allowed in, but not you, not your elected representatives. Not parents, not students. Elon, he can go in. His goons can go in, but not the representatives of the people.”"

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Alternative Dog's avatar

Not federal officers, it's private security. Take your pick on which would be the scarier of the two.

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3FingerPete's avatar

How did we end up with a president who has never seen so many things?

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

All hail our Queen of you! (Or, rather Queens.)

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Karen Scofield's avatar

Wake up with Tab's and Coffee in the morning ☕💯👍

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Bill Lukens's avatar

Yea! Doggie is trending!

I've been posting that using the Italian Duke pronunciations is stupid for DOGE.

DOGE = DOGGIE

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Right on!

I don't know how someone misspelled "dog" ironically and the world had to respond by also mispronouncing it like "doje" when it's so obviously "doggie"!

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Sean McCoy Writes's avatar

Alison Arngrim (Nellue Oleson) is also a staunch advocate for the LGBTQ+ Community. 🤟

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Dina's avatar

SER did a great article about her the other day that actually brought me to tears.

https://www.playtyperguy.com/p/megyn-kelly-is-no-nellie-oleson

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