288 Comments
User's avatar
Zyxomma's avatar

One of the exes took me to Birmingham in 1986, so I could fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing Halley's Comet. I saw it; it looked like a cotton ball. The megachurches were scary; we were a couple of New York atheist Jews, but we did find the comet, so it all worked out.

Oh! And we went out to a club and I got carded. I was 32 years old in 1986, so that was flattering.

gingerwentworth1's avatar

You know that will make him mean- mad. And he might come over there and do one of those things in the article to you, out of despair.

Rooster Cogburn105's avatar

"have you ever seen a grown Vice-President naked?"

Rooster Cogburn105's avatar

The interactive DVD version?

-=|Seriously, ☑️|=-'s avatar

Ah Alabama, we can always count on you.

Enter Ranting's avatar

Um, why is John Merrill too interested in homosexual activities?

Enter Ranting's avatar

"Where's your other hand?"

JCfromNC's avatar

Hey, I've got a great Western for him to watch! It even has Andy Griffith in it! Here's one of his scenes:

https://www.youtube.com/wat...

anastasjoy's avatar

The Andy Griffith Show and I love Lucy both went off the air before he was born. And Westerns were passe by the time he was out of diapers.

Tom Mears's avatar

Gunsmoke is hardly family values, given Miss Kitty was the madam of the whore house upstairs in the Saloon.

Hesavebread!'s avatar

I'm sure the girls just got good old fashioned frontier Bible sex and no butt stuff or Frenchies, so that's ok.

Hesavebread!'s avatar

Butt sex for some, miniature American flags for others!

Christian's avatar

Vermont's really nice, once you learn about layering and get those crampons on your shoes.