288 Comments

One of the exes took me to Birmingham in 1986, so I could fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing Halley's Comet. I saw it; it looked like a cotton ball. The megachurches were scary; we were a couple of New York atheist Jews, but we did find the comet, so it all worked out.

Oh! And we went out to a club and I got carded. I was 32 years old in 1986, so that was flattering.

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Ew.

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You know that will make him mean- mad. And he might come over there and do one of those things in the article to you, out of despair.

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"have you ever seen a grown Vice-President naked?"

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The interactive DVD version?

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Ah Alabama, we can always count on you.

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Um, why is John Merrill too interested in homosexual activities?

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Do hair pies count?

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"Where's your other hand?"

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Hey, I've got a great Western for him to watch! It even has Andy Griffith in it! Here's one of his scenes:

https://www.youtube.com/wat...

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The Andy Griffith Show and I love Lucy both went off the air before he was born. And Westerns were passe by the time he was out of diapers.

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Gunsmoke is hardly family values, given Miss Kitty was the madam of the whore house upstairs in the Saloon.

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I'm sure the girls just got good old fashioned frontier Bible sex and no butt stuff or Frenchies, so that's ok.

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Butt sex for some, miniature American flags for others!

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Vermont's really nice, once you learn about layering and get those crampons on your shoes.

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