Alex Jones Knows Deep State Is Boning The Stock Market To Make Trump Look Like Big Stupid Dumbass
Wall Street expert
"AND I'M FREEEEEEE! My name is the Dow Jones and I'm FREEEE FALLLLLIN'!"
OK, it's not funny, we'll stop. But oh boy, on Friday, the Dow Jones fell 666 points, and on Monday, it leaned into failure even further, plunging 1,179 points. God even knows what it's gonna do today, but if the foreign markets are any indication, it ain't lookin' good. Maybe it's just a correction! Maybe the Dow just misses recently departed Fed chair Janet Yellen, and this is what it sounds like when Dows cry.
Or maybe it is VERY BAD and the markets are finally catching up to the reality that Donald "Art of the Deal" Trump is president, and after a year of saying "Wheeeee! It's business time!" they're finally reacting to the existence of President Fuckup.
Despite Trump spending the first year of his presidency bragging and taking credit every time the stock market goes up, it is very obvious that if this is an impending crash of doom and destruction, it is Obama's fault. Sean Hannity said that Monday night, so if you are one of the DingDong McMeatStupids who watches Hannity, then CASE CLOSED.
But Alex Jones apparently didn't get the same talking points as Hannity got, because he blamed the deep dive in the markets on the DEEP STATE, because it is a well-known fact that all Wall Street banks have Deep State branches inside them, just waiting for their cue to make President Business Guy look like a paint-huffing jizz brain, by crashing the markets.
Oh golly, we just don't know. Should we investigate Goldman Sachs? ( Probably ? But not for doing false flags to Donald Trump? But instead for being a big shitty Wall Street bank that likes to fuck the whole wide world before breakfast every single day? Ugh, we sound like Occupy right now, we will stop.)
Jones continued 'splaining how the Dow Jones works on his internet TV show:
“This is a big, big deal and again, this is economic warfare, undoubtedly, against this president,” Jones said. “They’ve been trying as hard as they can. There he is touring the country, getting thousands of factories back, and now this happens. You better believe something this big is meant to embarrass him on his big economic tour he’s involved in.”
What, you did not notice how Trump was "getting thousands of factories back"? You haven't noticed how Trump hasn't been home in two weeks because he's on a big economic tour that definitely doesn't involve four hours of Executive time per morning, splayed out naked on top of a bed of Big Macs in the Lincoln Bedroom, while he gets his intel briefing from "Fox & Friends"? Pffffffft, you probably didn't clap for Trump at the State of the Union either, you TREASONIST.
Jones continued by uttering the words "New World Order," and then handed it to his co-host Doug Hagmann, who called it "blowback by the Deep State," and all of this is just true.
Look, we understand where these leading Wall Street experts are coming from. On Friday, the Dow Jones plunged 666 points, and "666," as we all know, is the official number of the Deep State. (LOOK IT UP IN THE BIBLE, HEATHENS.)
So what's gonna happen today, fellow mommyblog dick jokers of the One Percent? Are we going to lose our LITERAL KABILLIONS of moneys, because Trump and his economic policies and his tax cuts and his good brain and his attacks on our institutions and his general inability to be a human being have caused the stock market to crash in just a little over one year? We sure hope not!
But if that does happen ... whoa .
Point is, stop being naughty, Deep State, you stop that right now!
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[ Right Wing Watch ]
Why didn't it occur to me until you mentioned Soros plots that Nazi Satanist commie Jew Soros is behind this? Of course he is! It's as obvious as the fake Moon landings and the millions of illegal votes. I'm just slow sometimes.
Right, the ACTUAL explanation.
In times of recession you want to be putting money into the economy. You do this with tax and interest rate cuts. This puts more money into people's pockets, which they can spend, supporting the economy.
For some time the US economy has been rising; employers are feeling this with unemployment going down, thus pushing wages up. As an economy grows there is more money in the system, which causes inflation. Governments therefore take money out of circulation by putting up Interest, and if brave, tax. This reduces the overheat, with the benefit they have money to prepare for when they have no money; infrastructure improvement and deficit reduction. When recession hits they have capacity to pump the money back in.
What the US has done is inject a stimulus into a buoyant economy, increasing the risk of overheating. Wall Street are spotting that this will need to be brought under control, but instead of braking a little bit, maybe 1 point rise, the brakes will need to be slammed on hard. An economy can handle a gentle slow, 1% added every few months, but the current model will require a big jump all in one go. This will damage consumer confidence, and severely affect their spending power, hurting the economy.
Imagine driving on a hilly road, with a speed camera at the bottom of each hill. You use the accelerator on the up slopes, then gently coast down, using the brake for a nice gentle coast past the gatso. Wall street are panicking that the GOP are stood on the Gas pedal going down, and the only way not to total the car is hard late braking.