383 Comments

Are we sure she did?

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I have chosen to interpret Michelle Obama's command as punching Trump supporters right in the throat. Metaphorically, of course.

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Build his wall out of coal.

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My uncle recently passed, so my mom (his sister) and I went down for the service. Afterwards, family and friends gathered back at the house. I overheard some older folks talking (I didn't know them) as they were sitting near me. The woman was defending the confederate statues and the man made a comment that if you look closely at the statues on horses, the horse's ass always points north (ha-ha). Screaming out THEY WERE TRAITORS! seemed wrong at the time, but I regret not speaking up.

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Don't want anything associated with that thing.

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Just for future reference, the term is "hoist with his own petard"; a charming little phrase for which we can thank Shakespeare (Hamlet, III,4), along with the currently over-used "though she be but little she is fierce" (A Midsummer Night's Dream, III,2).

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Dear President Bonespur,Since my god ordained interview with you prior to begin-in, I have felt that I ought no longer to retain my god ordained commission in the EPA. I therefore tender my resignation, which I request you will accept since you are the one that asked for it. I suppose that ere this you have heard that the NRA has given each man 20 rounds of ammunition so we could go out and capture us some immigrants, legal or otherwise. I heard word of a polish immigrant that has run away from mar lago and that you and the slovic immigrant were furious cause they forgot to finish the cleaning and the do the laundry. The slave reportedly is helping a group of antifa to build a fort in the Washington Mall and we will all fall in line outside of our tents and prepare to march on the rebel fortress. Private Bannon stumbled into camp drunk as a moose on ripe apples and fell face down and was hard asleep. He was mumbling sumpt'em about the cheap steak. I will be thinking of you as we prepare for our skirmish. God is on our side in this hour of folly cause the color of our skin. Please pray for me and my manufacturing job.

Affectionately,Private Dirtycrick Pruitt

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Well Lance ... its a safe bet that historians and psychopathologists will be sorting out the answer to your question for a couple of decades.

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July 5, 2018

My dearest Ma & Pa,

The MAGAts held us for several hours in General Pruitt's Scif phone booth but before long EPA employees loyal to the cause broke us out yesterday. We have heard the news today that Pruitt has fallen (hoisted on his own petard) at the Battle of Scif Hill. We fight on in on our mission to remove the mofo Zinke and his ridiculous flag from the Dept. of the Interior. Pray that we prevail in November too.

Your Loving Son,

Bubba.

#SecondCivilWarLetters

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PornHub link brought me here.

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Snowflake much writer?

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Dear Ma, I write to you in hopes this will find you well. Up here on the front it is starting to look grim as we have opened up two fronts now on this war with conservative. Resources are being diverted from our war on Christmas to the #2ndCivilWar and it may just be the bend that breaks us.

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Camping? He at least had the good grace to die instead of endlessly defending his choice of dates.

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It's aligned with his brain. Sorry, 'brain.'

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'On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.'

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If only there were some action in my living room!

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