608 Comments
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Rev. Paleotectonics's avatar

My bum knee and unbelievable masculinity, nay, overwhelming machismo, and lack of bountiful bosoms (mere handfuls) is why I never played Velma Dinkley on Broadway.

letinstar's avatar

For Nikki, debating Bootsy the loser, is no longer appealing. Especially when there's no stanking orange jabba on stage shitting into his diaper while he rage answers...

Peter MacMonagle's avatar

Thank goodness for small favors.

Nancy Naive's avatar

https://puck.news/the-mar-a-lago-ultimatum/

Large DeSantis donors rushing to take the Reich Pledge… we’re boned.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"Ich schwöre Dir, Donald Trump, als Führer und Parteichef der GOP Treue und Tapferkeit."

Es klingt ja alles besser aus der deutschen Quelle.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I like the posts that have a happy ending, like this one.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

The denouement comes in autumn. Not my best attempt at a thriller title.

Deebs45014's avatar

Nikki Haley won’t ever win the GOP nomination because she’s only “kind of” an asshole and you can’t be “kind of” and appeal to conservative voters anymore.

People who are willing to vote for a republican candidate after the Trump presidency, they’re just not good people. 🤷‍♂️

So Nikki never had a chance.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

I know that I as a liberal Democrat would not be pulling my hair out if Haley won, but that's a negative in the eyes of GQP voters. For them to win, a liberal must weep.

Deebs45014's avatar

I’m kinda like Trumpers when it comes to my views on Trumpers. I’m all for killing them. Go Covid, go Fentanyl. When a tornado rips up some trailer park I’m like “fuck yeah, win one for the home team 💪”.

And I know it’s fucked up. I know I’m a bad person for thinking that way. But I do. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. If it were up to me. I’d take every white trash Trumper living in rural America, load them into box cars, drive them out into the desert, douse them in gasoline and set them on fucking fire.

That’s why I don’t debate with Trumpers anymore. Cause I’ll just keep ripping into them until they’re fucking furious, threatening me with death, hyperventilating with rage, cause fuck them.

I had one call me Hitler once, cause of my white trash Final Solution proposal and I was like, “yeah, no, Hitler killed good people”.

Lol.

Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

People have noted her “last week I loved Trump, this week I’m not so sure” stance she’s flipped back and forth on over the last couple of years and it’s probably alienated both sides in significant numbers at this point.

DDB9000's avatar

Plus she may not be as dark as Ramaswamy, and not a black sports ''hero'' like Herschel Walker (R-Brain Damage), but the majority of MAGAts will not vote for her, plus she's a girl and has cooties.

Gargaxx's avatar

You got a little excited at the end there ;-)

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Attraction to "Cootie-infested GQP wannabes" is maybe less Kama Sutra and more DSM-V.

In Crom We Trust's avatar

ST:TOS 46 - The Immunity Syndrome. Enterprise is searching for sister ship Intrepid when Spock goes all googly eyed and states that the Intrepid just "died." A zone of darkness, of energy, has a probe launched into it; the only result is powerful audio feedback that affects many of the crew, negatively. McCoy announces that they're all dying.. the ship experiences a steady, increasing power loss and multiple systems operate in reverse including the engines. The ship is drawn towards the center of the zone, now revealed to be living protoplasm with the appearance of a large single cell thousands of miles long.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Yes, but what about the general election?

Zyxomma's avatar

She's also scum because she said if TFG is convicted and she's president, she'll pardon him. On to the ash heap of history, Nikki.

Menotsure's avatar

Haley can't comment on Trump's miserable sexual misadventures because, if she does, someone might bring up the stories of extramarital affairs that flew around when she came into SC's governorship.

What goes around comes around.

AboveTheGrayFog's avatar

She can't comment on anything like that because she fears reprisal from the God Emperor of MAGAkind and his MAGAs.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Isn't it interesting that snowflake Dems never back down from their principles in the face of MAGA death threats?

Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

“When you look at how we’re doing in New Hampshire, in South Carolina, and beyond, I can safely say tonight, Iowa made this Republican primary a two-person race.”

This is a really weird statement from the person that came in third, but okay, Nikki.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

We see it every four years from every also-ran. Put on a brave face. The sun'll come out tomorrow.

BlueStateLibel's avatar

Eh, they know all about "utterly defeated and humiliated" in South Carolina, no big deal.

fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Trump did not "cruise to victory." He barely got 50% of the vote. Against a field that is weaker than a field mouse.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

When Obama took Iowa in the 2012 caucuses, he garnered 98%. THAT is a standard-bearer.

Sue's avatar

in a primary where only 14% of IA republicans bothered to vote, so that's about 7% of IA republicans. Not a lot to crow about there. That won't stop trump though. Biggest inauguration crowd ever! period!

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"Bothered to vote," I happen to have lived through an Iowa winter and many Michigan winters, it took real effort to vote in those caucuses.

Sue's avatar

Yeah, but trump fans are portrayed as willing to die for him--he even told them to go caucus even if they'd freeze. So yeah, those cultists didn't "bother to vote" for their hero. That is good news, IMO. Just like they didn't bother to riot when he was indicted. The vast majority didn't even bother to protest. Any of the four times. Again, good news.

Bupkus231's avatar

Good riddance to the Republican primary "debates" - but we may not even get any Presidential debates, since the RNC has already vowed not to support any debates that the "Commission on Presidential Debates" schedules ( even tho' they've been the de facto authority on these debates since 1988 - the previous sponsors, the League of Women Voters dropped out because of "too much interference by both political parties ).

Even if, by some act-of-God, or criminal convictions, make Nikki Haley the Republican nominee, she won't participate lest she offend any of the GOP powerbrokers

Emil Muz's avatar

"I wouldn't debate Nikki over where to get the best tandoori in Charleston much less about politics".

OHJB (if he even gave this much thought to the idea)

GrannysKnitting's avatar

'republican base' or 'republican cesspool of deranged haters': which says it better?

Bagels of Doom's avatar

hey! at least, canceling yourself is a little bit different.