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All The Cool Kids Giving $2,300 To Mitt Romney
Hey, boys and girls! If you're like most typical American teenagers, you don't waste your allowance money or the extra cash for your paper route on things like Usher albums or t-shirts from Hot Topic. No, you just let it sit in your bank account until you have enough to do something really big -- something that helps your country, and lowers your parents' tax bill at the same time! We're talking, of course, about writing a big fat check to Mitt Romney!
The hard-hitting investigators over at the Huffington Post have blown the lid off of the nefarious and totally legal practice of "bundling," whereby a bunch of people who know each other all donate large chunks of money to the same candidate. Wonkette readers already know that your boss can force you to give money to political candidates that you despise ; now we learn that your mom and dad can do the same thing! Those ephebiphobes in Congress tried to ban the practice of minors giving cash to candidates in 2002, but the Supreme Court ruled that little kids have the same right to make sure Mitt Romeny is elected as anyone else.
HuffPo blogger Alycia Dolan figured out that a couple of teenage siblings in Massachusetts both donated $2,300 apiece to their ex-governor's presidential campaign. What started out as a promising story sort of devolved into what appears to be an awkward series of phone calls to the kids' parents. Dad defends his children's incomprehensible Romneymania thusly:
My children have money. They had money from bar mitzvahs. They both earn money. They've been given money over the years from family and non-family. We feel it is their responsibility as it is ours to give to things that we believe in. That's our family story.
Mitt Romney is a perhaps unsurprising recipient of the largesse of a family whose "story" involves four-figure amounts in the kid's piggybank.