Everyone Who Works For The Government Is a Robber Baron

It is a fact that many federal employees read the Wonkette whilst laughing atop their ginormous piles of filthy lucre. For those of you who are not bursting at the seams with Amerikkkan Government Dollarz, here's some fun information on why you should have taken that civil service test or whatevers. And it comes from the greatest McPaper in the McUnited McStates!

Federal workers have been awarded bigger average pay and benefit increases than private employees for nine years in a row. The compensation gap between federal and private workers has doubled in the past decade.

Federal civil servants earned average pay and benefits of $123,049 in 2009 while private workers made $61,051 in total compensation, according to the Bureau of Economic Analysis.

Hmm. Are these numbers actually accurate? After all, they come to us from USA Today ...ah, fuck it! Time to peacefully overthrow the guvmint! Everybody run to your nearest Federal Bureau of Investimigations and tell Mulder and Scully to share their alien-dollars and cult-cents with you! Also if they ever catch that nasty Fluke Monster, you get a piece of the reward money. And if they ever finally make fucksies, you are invited to join in!

Every Wonkette federal employee reader person is now required to report his or her gross annual income in the comments, now. [ USA Today ]