On the first night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me: nothing on this list, or we would've immediately broken up. What? You're surprised I'm a member of the tribe? Don't be stupid; look at my name, of course I'm Jewish. Actually, my grandfather's birth name was Menachim Mordecai Bernstein, and after that, the family pretty much collectively decided we were never going to out-Jew that one, so we just gave up. Anyway, the point is I'm eminently qualified to be the one to share all the kitschy crap the goyim are apparently trying to sell us this year.
It's a well known fact that cats are militaristic anti-theist libertarians, and thus they would take the greatest of offense to you trying to put a yarmulke on their sovereign heads.
Sadly, my father-in-law, who was incredibly intelligent, actually believed this! The first time I went with my then boyfriend, now husband, to visit for the holidays, he asked me several times, "but what's your dad going to do for the holiday?" Ummm, go out for sushi? Watch TV? WE'RE JEWS, WE DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS."But everyone..."He kept insisting on being sad for my dad because his daughter wasn't with him to, what, not celebrate?
I think the only people who buy electronic menorahs are places that want to put up Christmas decorations but be multicultural. We used to do that when I worked in corporate retail. Clearly this one crappy electric menorah next to 11 million Xmas decorations shows our deep commitment to not pissing off our non-Christian customers.
My MIL gave us an Elf for the Shelf. The cats made it a toy and we had shredded elf on the floor the next morning.
Well, he is Jewish.
Fresh. Not the stale, dry, dreck they sell in the supermarket or "import" stores.
Perfect for Xmas eve. MMMMMMMM Brisket AND pastrami!!!!
The pig's name was Irving.
ah that's ok, needed an excuse to watch them again ;p
mebbe she's was thinkin wouldchuck?
wait... Streisand's birthday is still in the top ten? well damn... I thought it got knocked out a few years ago...
It's a well known fact that cats are militaristic anti-theist libertarians, and thus they would take the greatest of offense to you trying to put a yarmulke on their sovereign heads.
I fucking LOVE fruitcake. I feel so cheap.
That's fascinating, no shit. Thanks :)
2nd person here for fruitcake. I will eat your fruitcake. Give me your fruitcake.It better be the good stuff.
I like that the giant bag of dreidels is guaranteed to be delivered by Christmas. Useful, that.
Sadly, my father-in-law, who was incredibly intelligent, actually believed this! The first time I went with my then boyfriend, now husband, to visit for the holidays, he asked me several times, "but what's your dad going to do for the holiday?" Ummm, go out for sushi? Watch TV? WE'RE JEWS, WE DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS."But everyone..."He kept insisting on being sad for my dad because his daughter wasn't with him to, what, not celebrate?
To be fair on that one, that was Amazon's doing, not the product. Still funny.
I think the only people who buy electronic menorahs are places that want to put up Christmas decorations but be multicultural. We used to do that when I worked in corporate retail. Clearly this one crappy electric menorah next to 11 million Xmas decorations shows our deep commitment to not pissing off our non-Christian customers.