Hi, Allen Weisselberg! Have Fun Living At Rikers Because You Crimed For Trump, Allen Weisselberg!

Jail jail bo-bail banana fana fo-fail.

Allen Weisselberg is the severely and stupidly loyal 75-year-old Trump Organization CFO who took the fall and pleaded guilty to 15 counts of fraud he committed with and for the Trump Organization. As part of that deal he testified against the Trump Organization, which was also found guilty in December of everything it was charged with.

Sentencing for Weisselberg was set for January. GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS, ALLEN?

Allen Weisselberg, a longtime executive for Donald Trump ’s business empire was taken into custody Tuesday to begin serving a five-month jail term for dodging taxes on $1.7 million in job perks — a punishment the judge who sentenced him said was probably too lenient.

Well then do some more, judge! (It was part of his deal for pleading guilty AF.)

The judge, Juan Manuel Merchan, said if he hadn't already agreed to the five-month sentence, “I would be imposing a sentence much greater than that.” He added, "I’m not going to deviate from the promise, though I believe a stiffer sentence is warranted, having heard the evidence."

Oh well, he's the Trump Organization CFO, we wouldn't be entirely shocked if some more charges came down the pike someday, for something .

This sentence in the AP's report makes us laugh:

Weisselberg, who came to court dressed casually for jail, rather than in his usual suit, was handcuffed and taken into custody moments after the sentence was announced.

Let's take a moment just to savor that this morning, Weisselberg or his lawyers or his handler or his wife had to be like "Remember, grandpa, no suit needed today! It might be Tuesday, but it might as well be Casual Friday, because it's prison-thirty and you don't get to come home anymore! This is happening because you hitched your wagon to Donald Trump." It will be very Casual Friday for Weisselberg, attire-wise, for the next five months, or three if he is a very good boy in prison. After that he'll be on probation for five years and presumably will be allowed to wear suits again.

Did we mention he is going to Rikers? He is going to Rikers.

The AP report ends with an explanation of how Rikers is a very different part of New York City from Fifth Avenue:

Though just 5 miles (8 kilometers) from Trump Tower, it’s a veritable world away from the life of luxury Weisselberg schemed to build — a far cry from the gilded Fifth Avenue offices where he hatched his plot and the Hudson River-view apartment he reaped as a reward.

Boy oh boy we hope Donald Trump gets to live there someday. You can see it from La Guardia. If any of y'all out there fly into La Guardia in the next five months, or three months if he is a very good boy in prison, remember to wave at Allen Weisselberg before you swipe into the Delta Lounge or whatevs.

 Wonkette did a deep dive into the charges last year, against both the Trump Organization and Weisselberg. They were accused of defrauding the state of New York, the city of New York, and the federal government by knowingly creating schemes to enrich themselves through hiding large chunks of income in apartments, in cars, in private school tuition, hinky bonuses and more.

For the longest time, Allen Weisselberg was loath to cooperate with the authorities, out of some ridiculously misguided sense of loyalty to the human dogshit that is Donald Trump. But he did, finally, end up pleading guilty in August and testifying against the Trump Organization.

And now orange is the new Allen Weisselberg!

And the Trump Organization gets sentenced on Friday!

Unfortunately they will not sentenced to Rikers, but it will be very bad for them all the same.

OPEN THREAD.

[ AP ]

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