Allen West Helping Raise Funds For Islam, What A Nice Guy

Last summer, then-as-yet-undefeated-congressman Allen West took his whirlwind American diplomacy tour to the Council on American Islamic Relations, which sent him a letter asking him to distance himself from the prominent Islamophobes he'd been palling around with. West, seeing an opportunity for prejudice-fueled grandstanding, sent a response to CAIR: It said, simply, "NUTS." 

You may have forgotten this, on account of one asinine Allen West military reference kind of blends in with the rest. BUT! That letter, in addition to reminding us that literally anyone can get himself some congressional stationery if he appeals to the right Christians, is now doing some good: It's raising money for CAIR, which will go toward either defending civil rights or building car bombs, depending on whom you ask. Maybe even both!

What appears to be the South Florida chapter of CAIR is auctioning off the "NUTS!" letter , and right now it's 12 bids in and going for more than $2,200 — a small sum compared to compensation being afforded to CAIR in superdense piles of schadenfreude, but still, not chump change for a piece of paper! Check this, from the eBay listing:

Up for Auction is one of the shortest Congressional Letters ever written in US History! This is the ORIGINAL LETTER on Official US Congressional Stationary signed by Allen West himself! This item has something for everyone. It doesn't matter if you are a die-hard member of the Tea Party, Democratic Party, or protect the Civil Rights of Americans; this item is perfect for your collection.

Tea Party- This letter is signed by your fearless Rock Star! If you win this auction you will have signed documented proof that Allen West stood up in the face of your “EVIL” to protect the US (A "Judeo-Christian" Nation) from the Muslims. Your collection can’t go without this item.

Members of the Democratic Party- This letter represents the accomplishment of Democratic Party’s victory over Allen West. Allen West’s firebrand of politics often came with blanket insults towards Democrats with no regard of Congressional Fellowship or Respect.

So there you go! You've got until Jan. 17 to bid, if you have a few thousand dollars lying around. You never know, though — congressional letters from West might lose value if he keeps sending them. OH WAIT HE LOST. Haaaaahahaha sorry Allen, good luck finding a job in this economy, which you totally helped save by holding Creeping Sharia hearings during the debt ceiling "crisis." Maybe CAIR needs a lobbyist?

[ eBay , via tipster Murray]

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