nothing beats the high-comedy stylings of Wonkette writers with UPROARIOUSLY HILARIOUS lines like :
"Speaking of articulate, Obama did not disappoint."
just an absolute knee-slapper right there! that definitely isn't 100% identical to an actual racist statement said by actual racists. nope. the writer claimed that there is a "joke" that everyone will enjoy! that is certainly an interesting hypothesis that i encourage them to test out by saying the joke out loud verbatim in real life to actual strangers and see how "funny" they find it. i can't wait to hear the results!
Wait…Assmouth has a now “book” coming out? I will absolutely go through it just as avidly as I did his others! Of course, that was during Covid and we were out of toilet paper…
Their chance of winning is growing worse and worse literally by the day. And polling is VASTLY undercounting new registrations of young women of color who are definitely NOT voting for Cadet Bonespurs and Shady Vance.
And yet I continue to see polls and pols that indicate the race is neck-and-neck at best. Can people not smell it when someone puts a chafing dish of dogshit on the sideboard?
I think they were yelling "Semper paratus" which roughly translates to "always prepared". It's not a USMC thing, I think it's a firefighter thing. But Jance Dance Vance is a fucking idiot, so...
Vance Vance Cultural Revolution will be committing plenty of arson to dismantle the administrative state, so he might want the firefighters on his side.
"Semper fidelis" is the USMC slogan, generally shortened to Semper Fi. Vance is obviously unaware that firefighters have a different slogan (also used by the Coast Guard).
Wasn't he an errand boy for the publicity department in Iraq? Or was it intern? Driving around VIPs and giving them lots and lots and lots of lip service? Or was that just Peter Thiel who got the lip service? Ha ha I made a joke in the style of JD Vance performing as Sofa Loren at a drag bar in the Tenderloin. Hey, would you shut the hell up, can't you see I'm making jokes with the guys? Semper fi guys! He did you hear the one about the donut hole and the cat lady?
Vance was what is known as REMF--Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. He spent his 'time' in Iraq in an air-conditioned bunker making movies. Hardly counts as combat experience, now does it?
Finished out as an E-4. Even my poor DH, who was in the National Guard for 6 (signal corps) ended up as an E-5 and all he did was ride around in a truck and smoke pot.
He is listed as "corporal," which would be "E-4." An E-3 in the Marines is a corporal and in the Army a PFC. I did 4 in the Army and got out as an E-4, it's pretty typical unless you re-up. There's no shame in it.
E-3 in the Marines is Lance Corporal, E-4 is regular corporal. I don't know when he made E-4, but in his case, I can bet that his bosses realized he was an idiot fuck-up, and stuck him in a nothing job. He saw the writing on the wall and got out after his 4.
That, or he was just in it for the college money, which in that case, no shade.
He is listed as "corporal," which would be "E-4." An E-3 in the Marines is a corporal and in the Army a PFC. I did 4 in the Army and got out as an E-4, it's pretty typical unless you re-up. There's no shame in it.
If Dump had picked Nikki Haley (and tried to act a little more sane), the race would probably be a lot closer. I bet Dump thinks this too and finds it hilarious.
I think by now Haley would be unable to hide her titanic level of regret, and would be hounded about it hourly. Not that JD is adept at hiding his growing shame, it's just that no one wants to be around him long enough to ask him questions.
How to describe his je ne sais quoi? The comedic excellence of Rob Schneider, styled by Alfalpha from Our Gang, with a hint of American Pie perversion?
I had to remind myself at the end that this Wonkette, therefore that wasn't a transcript of him speaking. The comparison was eerily similar (except Gary actually make him sound funny, if that's even possible).
Remember, the cruelty IS the point.
Would be funnier if it weren’t true 😬
nothing beats the high-comedy stylings of Wonkette writers with UPROARIOUSLY HILARIOUS lines like :
"Speaking of articulate, Obama did not disappoint."
just an absolute knee-slapper right there! that definitely isn't 100% identical to an actual racist statement said by actual racists. nope. the writer claimed that there is a "joke" that everyone will enjoy! that is certainly an interesting hypothesis that i encourage them to test out by saying the joke out loud verbatim in real life to actual strangers and see how "funny" they find it. i can't wait to hear the results!
brilliant.
Wait…Assmouth has a now “book” coming out? I will absolutely go through it just as avidly as I did his others! Of course, that was during Covid and we were out of toilet paper…
So the worst VP pick in history is running alongside the worst President in history. Sounds about right.
And are still given a good chance of winning.
This country is NOT worth it, sometimes.
Their chance of winning is growing worse and worse literally by the day. And polling is VASTLY undercounting new registrations of young women of color who are definitely NOT voting for Cadet Bonespurs and Shady Vance.
And yet I continue to see polls and pols that indicate the race is neck-and-neck at best. Can people not smell it when someone puts a chafing dish of dogshit on the sideboard?
I never thought they'd beat Biden either. Well I still don't. And I'm not too proud to say I never believed in that red wave.
Not a snowball’s chance in hell. And we ARE worth it, all the time.
They certainly have a chance, and a better one than that snowball's. I hope your confidence is borne out.
Confidence is a better mindset than hope. As long as you don’t follow through on the cautionary mantra: Confident, Cocky, Lazy, Dead.
Someone called "Shady" Vance HILLBILLY VANILLY recently
And I just wanted to share that
Well this was HIGHLY enjoyable! Lolz and whatnot. Ha ha!
Well written, Mr Legum!
Vastly cleverer than Vance would have been, himself; not that that would be hard!
Nobody is cleverer than Shady Vance
Or, as I heard him referred to recently, "Hillbilly Vanilly"
It's like somebody took a DeSanctis and put a MAGA sticker on it.
Yes, he's at least 65% human.
"Semper Fi, guys."
And idiot and a weasel.
That was ... so useless
Like -- what if the majority part of your IAFF audience is Army? Navy? Air Force?
So stupid he is
#HillbillyVanilly
Apparently someone in the audience yelled "semper fi" and Vance responded. It's not as random as we thought (or as he usually is).
Hey, Marines also catch on fire!
A ... point.
I think they were yelling "Semper paratus" which roughly translates to "always prepared". It's not a USMC thing, I think it's a firefighter thing. But Jance Dance Vance is a fucking idiot, so...
Vance Vance Cultural Revolution will be committing plenty of arson to dismantle the administrative state, so he might want the firefighters on his side.
I thought that was the Boy Scouts.
"Semper fidelis" is the USMC slogan, generally shortened to Semper Fi. Vance is obviously unaware that firefighters have a different slogan (also used by the Coast Guard).
He would have been fragged in a real combat leadership role....
Wasn't he an errand boy for the publicity department in Iraq? Or was it intern? Driving around VIPs and giving them lots and lots and lots of lip service? Or was that just Peter Thiel who got the lip service? Ha ha I made a joke in the style of JD Vance performing as Sofa Loren at a drag bar in the Tenderloin. Hey, would you shut the hell up, can't you see I'm making jokes with the guys? Semper fi guys! He did you hear the one about the donut hole and the cat lady?
Upfist for 'Sofa Loren'
They put him in comms
The more he talks -- I'm like "Doing what, though?"
#WhitePrivilegeDEI
#HillbillyVanilly
I'm guessing JD's assignment as press flack at Camp Cupcake minimized opportunities.
Vance was what is known as REMF--Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. He spent his 'time' in Iraq in an air-conditioned bunker making movies. Hardly counts as combat experience, now does it?
Finished out as an E-4. Even my poor DH, who was in the National Guard for 6 (signal corps) ended up as an E-5 and all he did was ride around in a truck and smoke pot.
He just seems like that kind of asshat who would get his men killed and ignore the non-coms because of "judgement".
He never really made it past Lance (E-3), so I doubt there was much risk of that.
He is listed as "corporal," which would be "E-4." An E-3 in the Marines is a corporal and in the Army a PFC. I did 4 in the Army and got out as an E-4, it's pretty typical unless you re-up. There's no shame in it.
E-3 in the Marines is Lance Corporal, E-4 is regular corporal. I don't know when he made E-4, but in his case, I can bet that his bosses realized he was an idiot fuck-up, and stuck him in a nothing job. He saw the writing on the wall and got out after his 4.
That, or he was just in it for the college money, which in that case, no shade.
Fuck...an E-3 and he's pushing at Walz/?/?
He is listed as "corporal," which would be "E-4." An E-3 in the Marines is a corporal and in the Army a PFC. I did 4 in the Army and got out as an E-4, it's pretty typical unless you re-up. There's no shame in it.
"Semper Fi" = "Fuck me"* in English
* if you're a couch
If Dump had picked Nikki Haley (and tried to act a little more sane), the race would probably be a lot closer. I bet Dump thinks this too and finds it hilarious.
I think by now Haley would be unable to hide her titanic level of regret, and would be hounded about it hourly. Not that JD is adept at hiding his growing shame, it's just that no one wants to be around him long enough to ask him questions.
Pretty sure that Ol' Handsome Joe has enough left on the ball to have timed things for after the RNC for a reason.
As Jeff Tiedrich put it, he Dark Brandoned the hell out of the handoff to Kamala.
If that whole thing was more or less purposeful, he did indeed.
Given we are talking about the Democratic Party, though...
You better believe it
We see you, Uncle Joe
He gets his comic timing from his mom. It took her 9 months to make a joke.
How to describe his je ne sais quoi? The comedic excellence of Rob Schneider, styled by Alfalpha from Our Gang, with a hint of American Pie perversion?
Keeping in mind that "je ne sais quoi" is basically French for: "I can't even.."
She should have taken longer, because the joke isn't funny.
"The Aristocrats!"
I had to remind myself at the end that this Wonkette, therefore that wasn't a transcript of him speaking. The comparison was eerily similar (except Gary actually make him sound funny, if that's even possible).
WAPO has its uses:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/08/30/vance-romance-fertility-doughnut/?utm_campaign=wp_follow_alexandra_petri&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_alexandrapetri&carta-url=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.washingtonpost.com%2Fcar-ln-tr%2F3ee0c54%2F66d2118d13ba2d191361302c%2F5972d9269bbc0f1cdcec3998%2F5%2F23%2F66d2118d13ba2d191361302c
Now *that* is weird.
Most excellent!
JD Vance's funniest gag is what he's doing to Trump's campaign.
Also, he makes me gag.