America's Shit-Fer-Brains Nazis Pretty Happy With Charlottesville, All In All

Some people are just really bad at drawing. Oh, and thinking.

Since Charlottesville, Virginia attracted the nation's Deleted Commenters to one place, today, we'll be bringing you a compendium of idiots offering their insights on the weekend's events.

Nazis? Were there Nazis? We guess we don't like Nazis.

Let's start with the staff of the ShitFerBrains in Chief: An unidentified White House spokesperson released a statement this morning "clarifying" that Donald Trump doesn't need to call out white supremacists, because you see, he already condemned "hatred, bigotry, and violence on many sides," and what part of "condemns all" hatred don't you understand?

So there's your very specific condemnation. Jesus, are you people dense or what? Nicely done! It covers the "why no condemnation?" angle and allows white supremacists to say it was obviously released as cover by one of the cucks in the WH, but Trump remains on their side.

It seems the White House is still getting their ducks in a row on this, however; reporter Gabriel Sherman found someone in the White House who wanted to make clear the counter-protesters probably murdered some people, too:

Update: Hey,Fox News is pretending Trump actually condemned white supremacists, based on that "clarification":

White Power Rangers Declare Flawless Victory

For some real insight into who was happy about yesterday's violence, let's check in with the geniuses at neo-Nazi site The Daily Stormer, where they're celebrating their "victory" after police shut down Saturday's planned "Unite the Right" rally. Because, you see, the white supremacist message is so obviously true that the Powers That Be had to silence it:

Daily Stormer editor Andrew Anglin heard Donald Trump's message loud and clear yesterday. You'd almost get the impression that Trump's speechwriters knew exactly who they were talking to, huh?

Anglin closed out his liveblog last night by urging his buds to chug some milk and enjoy the fruits of their "victory":

Car attack? What car attack?

Anglin also had many thoughts on the murder committed when an Ohio man smashed his car into a crowd of people protesting the demonstration. Before the suspect was identified, Anglin decided that obviously the attack had been a matter of self-defense, since, he claimed, the Dodge Challenger's windshield was already broken in the video (based on a still showing the car backing up after the attack -- no comment on the flat tire...).

As with a lot of the stuff on Daily Stormer, it's difficult to say whether Anglin believes a word of it, or expects his readers to. The "Street Sweeper" meme clearly suggests he thinks the murder was hilarious. The post goes on to mourn the damage to the car: "It was a very nice car, worth much more than the life of whoever died." He also insists,

Nice guy. It's anyone's guess whether Anglin or the video maker (video here ) seriously expects anyone to believe the Challenger's windshield was broken before the attack. For what little it's worth, the video doesn't really show the windshield prior to the attack -- the cellphone video was shot in a panic as the car thundered by. Here's the best frame we could get, literally from the first second of the video; the angle doesn't allow any view of the windshield at all:

Oh, and what a surprise -- the shot of the car that had obviously already been damaged by brick-throwing antifa terrorists was carefully selected -- here it is an instant later:

Those were some bigass bricks.

We know we shouldn't even give these morons the legitimacy of debunking them, but we're genuinely curious about how their minds work -- does Anglin think he's convincing anyone, perhaps just throwing shit at the wall and hoping one or two of his readers will take to Twitter to insist the car had been attacked first? Apparently, that actually is getting some mileage; more than one idiot on Twitter has posted another video making the claim; it's slowed down to show demonstrators attacking the car with a baseball bat -- after it had crashed into the crowd and two other vehicles. Not gonna embed; it's got gory shots of the aftermath of the attack. Somehow, we don't think "I was defending myself from the people hitting my car after I plowed into them" is going to fly in court.

Once the police announced they'd arrested 20-year-old James Alex Fields Jr. and charged him with second-degree murder, The Daily Stormer had a new angle on the attack: The guy couldn't have been a rightwinger because he's probably Jewish. His mother's last name, after all, is "Bloom."

Time Out For Someone Who Actually Matters: Heather Heyer

Fuck the Nazi noise, let's take a moment to focus on Heather Heyer, the woman who died in the car attack: she was a 32-year-old paralegal from Virginia whose last public message on Facebook, posted not long after Donald Trump was elected last year, was "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention." A GoFundMe page set up to help her family has already come close to doubling its $50,000 goal. Her mother is quoted as saying, "She died doing what was right. My heart is broken, but I am forever proud of her." So say we all.

Nazis Have Never Heard Of This Nazi

No doubt the Nazis will start claiming that photos of James Fields carrying a shield with the logo of white supremacist group Vanguard America were photoshopped.

The brave Aryans of Vanguard America insist Fields wasn't a member -- which is entirely possible; why bother formally signing up? -- but for some reason didn't seem to want to be associated with his act of resistance to the Violent Left:

“The driver of the vehicle that hit counter protesters today was, in no way, a member of Vanguard America. All our members had been safely evacuated by the time of the incident,” the group posted on Twitter.

“The shields seen do not denote membership, nor does the white shirt. The shields were freely handed out to anyone in attendance.

“All our members are safe and accounted for, with no arrests or charges,” the group added.

Dead Breitbart Can't Believe Media Keeps Focusing On Nazis

Over at Dead Breitbart's Home For Angry White People Who Aren't Racist Heavens No, we learn that Both Sides Are To Blame, because just look at the violence on this sign:

You see, what's really a shame about Charlottesville is that what was supposed to be a "protest in favour of free speech" somehow got invaded by a bunch of neo-Nazis (who kind of organized the thing, but let us not nitpick) by "some of the rally’s attendees." The real tragedy, though, is that "While many media minutes and deliberations will be afforded to the fascistic right, almost none will be dedicated to the fascistic left."

Also, shockingly, Gov. Terry McAuliffe told ALL the good conservatives to go home, which was truly a missed opportunity:

Instead of a call for dialogue, or even trying to explain what would be a totally reasonable and easily-made argument against flying Nazi flags or torch-lit demonstrations, he chose to further drive a wedge, as did those who flanked him on stage.

Even worse, McAuliffe refused -- four times! -- to condemn the violent antifa (anti-fascist) demonstrators:

I asked Gov. McAuliffe four times tonight to condemn in equal measure the violence of antiFa. I didn’t want him to rescind criticism of the alt right. I didn’t expect him to be nuanced. But I did think — perhaps foolishly — that he might want to distance himself from violent tactics on both sides. I supposed wrong.

Such a sad day for even-handed condemnation of both Nazis and those hit by their cars.

Random Idiots In The News

CNN's Brian Stelter has collected some real winners, too, like this Fox News reporter apologizing to viewers for the wrong offensive thing:

Punchy-faced Richard Spencer had thoughts about all the Police Brutality, against him. We had to include the top reply, too:

Rightwing radio talker Mark Simone couldn't figure out why anyone would associate shite supremacy with Trump. Must be the media! Also, real white supremacists hate Trump, you know, so ignore the Daily Stormer.

Well, maybe David Duke was a trifle miffed that Donald Trump didn't stand up enough for white people:

Thank God Somebody Knows What Really Happened

Alex Jones knows what's up: George Soros is behind all of this, so the government can declare Martial Law and ban all conservative speech. DUH:

FALSE FLAG! And the guy with the car simply "flipped out" (that's from around 11: 40) because the police forced the peaceful alt-right demonstrators onto a street full of violent leftists. Glad we got that cleared up.

Update: This is going big on the Twitternets just now. Looks like we understood some stuff in 1943 that we still need to be reminded of today, huh?

THIS IS AMAZING!

1943: US War Dept released this video to tell Americans not to fall for fascists. #Charlottesville   pic.twitter.com/ubLtwa34ea 

— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) August 13, 2017