America's Vilest MAGA Creeps Sneer At Unarmed Australians For Getting Shot

We would like to apologize to the world, we know these people suck.

The good guy didn’t have a gun and still stopped the bad guy who had a gun.

What a weekend, huh? A beloved entertainment figure and his wife were stabbed to death, allegedly by their troubled son. Somebody shot up a classroom at Brown University, killing two students.

And a father and son shot up a Hanukkah celebration on popular Bondi Beach in Australia. At last count, the death toll stood at 16 (including one of the shooters), with at least 42 other people hospitalized.

Everyone knows what this means: it’s time for the worst people in America to sneer sentiments along the lines of Ooooooh, I thought Australia had strict gun laws that would prevent massacres! If only there had been one armed person there to shoot back! This is why you’ll pry my murder stick from my cold, dead hands!

Here, for example, is world-class shithead Laura Ingraham barely waiting for the bodies to be removed from the beach:

Ha ha ha, those vegemite fanatics sure are stupid, she seems to be saying! If they wouldn’t allow all those dang foreigners into their country while their citizens are running around tragically vulnerable without their boom-boom sticks, then maybe they wouldn’t have a gun massacre every 30 years or so!

Here is numb-nutted Republican Senator Mike Lee of Utah continuing his lifelong streak of never missing an opportunity to miss a point:

Need we once again go through all the fucking times there has been an armed person in the vicinity of a shooting in America and failed to stop it or even slow it down? Must we bring up the cops at Uvalde or the security officer at Parkland for the millionth time? Must we remind Mike Lee that civilians in Australia and America generally don’t have combat training, so even if they are armed, they are not going to react like S.H.I.E.L.D agents when someone starts shooting at them out of nowhere?

And because the types of guns civilians are allowed to own is also limited, we note that these two jokers appear to have been armed with shotguns and bolt-action hunting rifles. If they were in America, they might have had AR-15s or some other equally ridiculous semi-automatic weapon that should never be seen outside a military armory. Then the death toll might have been way, way higher. Remember the guy who shot up a country music festival in Las Vegas by firing multiple AR-15s from high ground? Yeah, like that.

Australia having restrictive gun laws is not the reason these two jackasses were able to kill a bunch of people. Shut up, Mike Lee.

For good measure, we note that one person who took action that stopped the shooting and probably saved a metric fuckton of lives — or a metric fucktonne, we guess, this being Australia — was this unarmed guy who tackled one of the shooters and wrested his gun away from him. Australian media reports he took five bullets to his left arm and fears he might lose it.

Mike Lee would never.

Oh, and the hero is an immigrant from the Middle East, with the very Arab name of Ahmed al Ahmed. All the jackasses screaming about immigrants being the problem can kindly shut the fuck up.

Last and certainly least, here is alleged journalist Michael Tracy getting corrected after reminding us all once again what a fucking idiot he has always been:

We can’t speak to the exact veracity of the first number — by our count, this Wikipedia list of mass shootings in Australia lists only 26 deaths since 2016 — and the second seems high, but then again, it depends how they’re counting it. But certainly the point remains. Australia has had that many mass shooting deaths in a decade. America has had that many mass shooting deaths just since August. And again, those are just the shootings people have managed to put into Wikipedia.

But we digress. The point is that the last major gun massacre in Australia was in 1996 and killed 35 people. The country tightened up its gun laws after that and has had barely any mass shootings since. Overall gun deaths are exceedingly rare.

And for those geniuses who are screaming America has way more people right now, yeah, we know. On a per capita basis, which is as close as anyone gets to a fair comparison, there are way more mass shootings and gun deaths in America than in Australia. It’s not even close.

Still, private gun ownership in Australia has gone up in recent years. So the country’s leaders are already talking about finding ways to tighten the laws up even more. This will no doubt send the American right into paroxysms of rage resulting in loud pronouncements that they would never live in Australia if they can’t have all their shootin’ irons. Don’t worry, fellas, we doubt Australia would want you.

We leave you with this weekend interview on MS NOW with Cameron Kasky, a survivor of the Parkland massacre. Around the 4:00 mark, Kasky talks about how gun violence simply isn’t a part of the everyday life of Australians, and that America is the anomaly among First World countries, not the rule:

Well said.

[YouTube / CNN / Sydney Morning Herald]

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