An Outrageous Gathering For Outrageous Purposes! Tabs, Tues., Oct. 14, 2025
How dare you! How very dare you!
Splish splash, I was takin’ a tabs. (With your mom.)
Sean Duffy WAAAAAAH “No Kings” is antifa, WAAAAAAH paid protesters, WAAAAAAAH Sean Duffy is a little bitch.
OK, but nobody is more of a pissybritches little weenus than Speaker Mike Johnson, who absolutely queened out about the “No Kings” protests, calling them “an outrageous gathering for outrageous purposes!” HOW VERY DARE YOU, ANTIFA? HOW! VERY! DARE! YOU!
They are terrified (of the American people).
So you know how Secretary Shitfaced is so sensitive and paranoid he’s trying to force every news organization to sign this batshit document promising they will essentially stop doing anything resembling real reporting? And the deadline is this week? Yeah, literally every news organization is telling him to eat urinal cakes in a dive bar in hell. Even Newsmax. [Independent]
Who actually IS signing? Uh, well …
That’s about right.
Speaking of Secretary Shitfaced, that one picture of the Texas National Guard invading Illinois went viral — you know the one where the guardsmen didn’t look quite battle-ready — and uh oh, Secretary Shitfaced got embarrassed and now he’s firing Texas National Guardsmen for being fat. [Daily Beast]
And speaking of Chicago, the fun and games with grand juries looking at indictments and telling Trump prosecutors that they can eat urinal cakes in hell has officially moved there. Memphis, you’re up soon! [WBEZ Chicago]
And speaking of ICE, well, dangit, I am just asking questions.
And speaking of people telling people to eat urinal cakes in hell, here is New York AG Letitia James.
So far the Seattle, Phoenix and Portland airports have told ICE Nazi Barbie to fuck off with her airport video blaming Democrats for the shutdown. And then a few airports in New York state said you know what? That video can eat my hole. Another one in Arizona too. Probably more by the time you read this. [Seattle Times / New York Post]
Who’s paying more than half of Trump’s dumbass tariffs? You are, according to Goldman Sachs. [NBC News]
People are having their lives totally destroyed in rural Alaska because of Typhoon Halong. Where’s FEMA? Same place the CDC is. Gone. [CNN]
Yesterday while Trump was congratulating himself for totally ending all wars in the Middle East forever (LMAO), he demanded the president of Israel pardon Benjamin Netanyahu, because crime-loving motherfuckers love other crime-loving motherfuckers. Meanwhile, Bibi gave Trump the “Israel Award,” which is almost like the Nobel Peace Prize but isn’t. [JoeMyGod / Axios]
Donald Trump going to hell, suggests Donald Trump.
Still haven’t bonded with the new Taylor Swift record but this song from the last record is such a fucking banger.
Is that enough tabs? (For your mom?)
Yeah, why not.
Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!
Follow me on Instagram!
And on BlueSky!
And on Facebook!
Hugo knows all about resistance. Find out more about your hed gif here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/you-go-hugo
And here is your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/7c81b409-6f36-4ed9-adae-f4e56c4abaeb?utm_source=share
"It begs the question, who's funding it?"
I'm funding it, fuckface. I'm making my own sign with materials I scrounged or bought. I am using my own petrol to drive to the location. I am probably going to spend some money while I'm in town to support the good among us. More projection from you fuckwits because the greatest percentage of astroturfed groups and protests are funded by right wing wealth hoarders and other rich fascists. It's always the way with you. "We do it so we know they must be doing it, too."