And That's Why We Can't Have Nice Things. Tabs, Thurs., April 3, 2025

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Baby … Ruth? (GET IT?) Tabs gif by Martini Glambassador!

Don’t forget Ziggy’s movie night this Saturday night will be Ferris Bueller’s Day Off! Let’s watch, for no reason at all, conservative “thinker” Ben Stein explain tariffs! Has anybody asked him lately what he thinks about *waves hand* all of it?

Here’s a quickie splainer on Trump’s insane envelope math, which seems to be all AI hallucination and plenty of tariffs on islands populated only by penguins. I’d just add that those “subsidies” to Canada equal “shit we buy from them so we can have their shit.” That’s the “subsidy,” them “giving us nice things” in exchange for “money.” (Paul Krugman) Okay, the White House has confirmed to the New York Post that they’ve made up all the tariffs based on some vibe about how they have to give us back half of however much stuff we buy from them. That just seems right. (New York Post)

Wait, what does this mean, I don’t know what this means, it’s 8 p.m., I should be in bed (and I’m high):

Don’t worry, I already shouted in the chat cave DOK WHAT DOES THIS MEEEEAN, so you will get it splainered to you by … sometime.

Serious question: Would you guys like a post on How I Do My Coupons? It’s pretty Extreme Mommyblogging, but also you might want some tips on Pennysaving Jesus What The Fuck Christ? Let me know in the comments, which we do not allow.

Montana junior Senator Tim Sheehy doesn’t know how long Montanans will be feeing the “short term pain” from Trump’s tariffs, but don’t worry you guys, he’ll be fine. (CNN)

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Warren and pals Ron Wyden, Raphael Warnock, and Mark Kelly gonna lead a Senate WAR ROOM for responding to DOGE’s crap attacks on Social Security. Yay! Nice to see Kelly in particular doing something positive with himself. (Axios)

Man, I just love reading Garrett Bucks. What a beautiful summation of community, decency, activism, and goodness in Wisconsin. (The White Pages)

This telling of all Trump’s (and his lackeys’) nonsense attacks on Maine — Maine! — is straightforward, perfectly reported, and excellent. (Gift link Washington Post)

I sent Mallory McMorrow some of your money for her run to represent me as United States senator. You’re welcome! (McMorrow for Michigan)

Judge Dale Ho dismissed the charges against corrupt MFer New York Mayor Eric Adams with prejudice and that is … it’s good actually. Because Judge Dale Ho (not Judge James Ho, who sucks) is correct that even though the case against Adams was originally brought correctly under Joe Biden’s DOJ, it became a blackmail thingie once Trump was in office, because of course it did. Adams thanks Jesus. And Kash Patel. (Gothamist)

Deep breath for this one, everybody. (Abortion, Every Day)

And this is from a few days ago, and it is horrific: The UN says Israel executed 15 Palestinian ambulance drivers, in clearly marked Red Crescent vehicles (the Middle Eastern version of the Red Cross), one by one and then threw them in a pit. At least one of them had his hands tied. (Guardian)

Great, now I have to go get the shingles vaxx. I mean GREAT now I GET TO go get the shingles vaxx! (Scientific American)

Still don’t know whether I want to be composted, grown into a tree, or compressed into a diamond, but I love stories about natural burials! (Reasons to Be Cheerful)

Have something beautiful to end your tabs: this Monica Hesse on the Smithsonian, and America, and our violence and our beauty and how we write history, in drafts. (Gift link Washington Post)

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