Penis pumps are no laughing matter; every year they are responsible for a host of unspeakable tragedies, like the time that one dingus got his balls stuck in one. This story therefore deserves to be treated with the utmost solemnity and respect, so of course that's what we'll do.
Wait a minute. Dick jokes? ON WONKETTE?
Good thing there's no comments, or we'd have to read more.
IF THE PUMP DOES NOT FIT YOU MUST ACQUIT.
He should have tried turning himself off and on again.
What if it fits before, but not after?
Or vice versa… ugh.
Ol' Slopalong!
I think his switch was um, broken
https://www.youtube.com/wat...
Must be the lead paint.
HAHAHA JK, WE GON’ MAKE SOME DING-A-LING JOKES.
Buehler? Buehler?
https://www.youtube.com/wat...
He wants a long dong but did it wrong.
Sorry they dicked you around.
It had to be done. I'm glad you did it, so I didn't have to.
I'm hanging out with the wrong crowd.
It didn't suck you in, then?
Boneanza?