CNN has big news! A "Democratic source" has told the jejune news network that the Democratic Party will roll out "a major announcement Wednesday about the future of the party," delivered in a speech by Tim Kaine at George Washington University. The speech is said to "excite Democrats across the country," so be sure to wear pants that won't reveal the constant Boehner you will have down there tomorrow, libtards. So what will this AMAZING announcement be that CNN
Obama will confirm he's a Muslim socialist and that guns, Christianity, and NASCAR are forthwith banned. After one third of the nation dies of a heart attack or suicide he'll announce he was just kidding and we'll win the November elections in a landslide.
We're FINALLY declaring war on the Covenant. REMEMBER REACH! Ooo, and guess what I bought yesterday?
Obama will confirm he's a Muslim socialist and that guns, Christianity, and NASCAR are forthwith banned. After one third of the nation dies of a heart attack or suicide he'll announce he was just kidding and we'll win the November elections in a landslide.
Twogoats for president!
It better be a personal jet pack or I'm moving to France.
[Sweet Vidalia Onions, y'all! Give the Wonkette posse an opportunity to voice their fantasies, and look what comes spilling out. Amazing.]
If only HE got the job done.
Finally, mandatory gay abortions for all!
I'd like to go for the last option...but that's just crazy talk.