Anthony Scaramucci HAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOL OMG WE ARE DYING HERE

KISSES GOODBYE

The people in the studios at MSNBC just audibly giggled as Katy Tur broke the news yr Wonkette saw at the same time in the  New York Times :  Anthony Scaramucci is YOU ARE FUCKING FIRED.

President Trump has decided to remove Anthony Scaramucci from his position as communications director, three people close to the decision said Monday, relieving him just days after Mr. Scaramucci unloaded a crude verbal tirade against other senior members of the president’s senior staff.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOP! OUR SIDES ARE HURTING FROM THE LOL-ING!

How long was Scaramucci's tenure? Six minutes. (Ten days.) How many White House staffers did Scaramucci accuse of aerobically sucking their own ding-dongs? One, that we know of. How much does Scaramucci love the president? He loves the president so, so much. So much. He loves him. He loves him. When the president grabs him by the ...

FOCUS, EVERYONE.

How does former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus feel right now? Still fired, but he's probably swimming in schadenfreude just the same because he hates that fucking guy. How many reporters broke Scaramucci's trust during his very long employment time at the White House? Oh, all of them, Katie, but specifically this ONE dick from The New Yorker he talked to on the record, who then wrote the stuff they talked about on the record in the newspaper! IS THAT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS?

How many ladies started divorcing Anthony Scaramucci while he worked at the White House? One, and she seems pretty cool. How many of his own children's births did he miss because he was off in West Virginia figuratively being the president's fluffer? One, and he's a really shitty father for that.

Did Scaramucci say kind words about child raper cover-upper Joe Paterno? Of course! Was it possible Scaramucci was a Hillary Clinton mole, albeit a bad one? We entertained the possibility! 

It sounds like new White House Chief Of Staff John Kelly decided to use his deporting skills for good, FOR ONCE.

The New York Times reports that it's "unclear" whether Scaramucci is YOU'RE FIRED! from the entire Trump government, or whether he will get shuffled off to some other job he'll be really bad at.

Anyway, bye li'l biscuit! We are very sad we will never get to see a girl play you on "Saturday Night Live."

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[ New York Times ]