Apes, Geurrillas

Friday

* The Apes rock the shit out of the Hoisery like they mean it. $10, 8pm at 443 I St. NW. [ The Apes ]

* Our favorite teacher from high school is DJing at the Cat and coming out is worth 3 bonus points on the final. Free, 9: 30pm on the backstage. [ Black Cat ]

* First night of the Guerrilla Film Fest which showcases, "Live-action flicks, animated shorts and one feature film about the human desire for companionship are on view during this year's festival." $11 per screening, 7pm at 1530 P St. NW. [ GFF ]

* Daily Show co-creator Lizz Winstead does stand-up which may or may not be funny since she also is one of the brains behind Air America. $22, 9: 45pm at the Arlington Cinema and Draft House. [ ACDH ]

Saturday

* The Pipettes are cute and British and they sing all kinds of adorable girl group songs. Also playing with Smoosh, a band of 9 year-olds that will make you feel bad about how little you've accomplished in your twenty-whatever years. $10, 9pm [ Black Cat ]

* Screening of the "Seventh Seal," gives all of us the opportunity to maybe see the movie and stop just nodding in a knowing way whenever someone brings it up at a party. $9, 10: 30pm. [ AFI ]

* Any Rourke of the Smiths comes to DC to play records for money. Half off drinks and free entry before 10. $11 after 10 at the Rock & Roll Hotel. [ R&RH ]

* Imam Abdul Alim Musa of As-Sabiqun hosts an event that is described in the following way: "Topics to be discussed: Interrogate the Interrogator. Three Stooges Rule: George (Failure) III, Aunt Jemima Rice, and Lon Cheney. Counter de-motivational therapy. The De-Negrolization Process. How to disregard FBI authority without going to jail. How to bring the "sissy" out of your local FBI agent. Counter-harassment techniques (Did your mamma buy that shirt?). Laugh your fears away by laughing in your oppressor's face. Master the "art of selling wolf tickets." How to tell the administration to "kiss my behind" with a smile. How to harass the government that's harassing you." Start on this very evening as the FBI will surely be in attendance. [ Imam Musa ]

Sunday

* The Klezmatics can do things with the klezmer others can only dream about. Part of the Jewish Music Festival. $36, 8pm at 1529 16th St. NW [ DCJCC ]

* A whole lot of John Wayne movies and probably some discussion of John Wayne all on the centennial of his birth. $25, 1pm at the Smithsonian's S. Dillon Ripley Center, 1100 Jefferson Dr. SW . [ Ripley ]

* Thought he deftones show is sold out, there will be plenty of tattooed 40 year-old dudes in all black standing outside selling tickets. Doors at 8pm. [ 930 ]