695 Comments
User's avatar
Zen Gali's avatar

"because America hates them"

I keep saying this to myself. Why don't Republicans understand that their constant losses have nothing to do with "the deep state," or "democrat cheaters," or "illegals voting," and everything to do with the fact that they're a bag of moldy assholes?

I mean, other than their complete inability to face reality or self-reflect.

Expand full comment
Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

On a perhaps related note, I read an article this morning that says traffic at far right websites is waaay down, like up to a 95% decline in some cases. So apparently the things they say maybe *aren't* reflecting what Most Americans really think.

Expand full comment
Melissa's avatar

I love the idea of satchels. smile

Expand full comment
Jimbobsama's avatar

Don't get happy. Turn out still needs to happen

Expand full comment
Appalachian in Thailand's avatar

Their internal polling must be shit!

Expand full comment
clairence's avatar

...and yet NYT keeps telling me Biden's all but lost this already:

"Donald J. Trump leads President Biden in five crucial battleground states, a new set of polls shows, as a yearning for change and discontent over the economy and the war in Gaza among young, Black and Hispanic voters threaten to unravel the president’s Democratic coalition."

Good thing Trump's telling his people A) not to vote and B) he doesn't even NEED their vote and C) he still needs their money though.

Expand full comment
Zen Gali's avatar

well sure, the oligarchs need to sell a narrative that makes it easier to swallow when they steal it through vote suppression, intimidation, infiltration, lawsuits, etc.

Expand full comment
Zap's avatar

You'd think the only reason for him running is to continue the grift and stay out of jail.

Expand full comment
Tessie's avatar

"Jason Roe, a Republican strategist"

`

Bummer of a last name, Jason.

Expand full comment
Dina's avatar

If you overturn him, I'll bet a lot of bugs go scurrying everywhere.

Expand full comment
gene108's avatar

Trump could've been convicted on a bunch more counts, if the Republicans in the Federal judiciary weren't bending over backwards to delay those trials until after the election or if the cases even go to trial.

Maybe Cannon will agree with a motion to dismiss? Maybe the SCOTUS grants Trump enough immunity to negate the insurrection case? I don't know what tortured logic the SCOTUS would employ here, but they'll submit logic to horrors we cannot imagine.

Expand full comment
Alternative Dog's avatar

Someone with video editing skills really needs to take that PAB GIF and insert a rope or something similar such that his two hands are pulling it back and forth through his ears.

Expand full comment
eddi-SABH's avatar

Ye Olde Mental Floss.

Expand full comment
Bel-Ami's avatar

"...he’s going to shit out a live shark on stage, which will immediately proceed to eat him while the “Mack The Knife” song plays." That would be the ONLY thing that would get me to tune in. Because honestly, why? Even IF he shows up, he'll just bloviate in that rich brat, schoolyard bully voice, while Biden will talk-slowly and carefully- on subjects that he has already demonstrated that he has plans to handle.

Expand full comment
DDB9000's avatar

I note that in the original German, that song is called ''Mackie Messer" so that shitting out would be appropriate.

Expand full comment
Bel-Ami's avatar

I always thought it was "Mack die Messer" but you are correct and I've sung it wrong all these years! Thank you.

Expand full comment
DDB9000's avatar

The song has gone through many titles over time. The original title was ""Die Moritat von Mackie Messer" which in English was called "The Ballad of Mack the Knife", but actually means "The Murder Ballad of Mack the Knife"!

Maybe in a Gen Ω verison it will just be McNife, but then McDonald's would sue...

Expand full comment
Viole Falusche's avatar

The Quisling's dancing makes Elaine Benes' look pretty freaking good.

Expand full comment
Dina's avatar

He wouldn't be able to do "the kick" without falling over.

Expand full comment
Viole Falusche's avatar

I'd gif that, and play it sometimes at parties!

Expand full comment
Hank Napkin's avatar

Listen up. Force NETFLIX to offer the PAB a Spectacular Series of his own devising, something like Calvinball but with Deaths and he is the Permanent Immune President of the Show Forever Amen.

( Meanwhile, trials proceed apace. )

Expand full comment
Littorally Speaking's avatar

So what we’re saying here is that, in show biz parlance, Shitler has “𝘫𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘬” ... ? 🦈

Expand full comment
Lady Tavestock's avatar

I'm glad I'm us too. The GOP are fucking assholes.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

When I was having a long aggravating confrontation (I won't even try to summarize the story) with a woman I called PBH (the Psycho B from Hell) a friend gave me this good advice: "Remember that you only have to deal with her sometimes. She has to BE her, all the time!"

Expand full comment
Zen Gali's avatar

i tell my kid the same thing. that and "never turn your back on them, just slowly walk away while maintaining eye contact"

Expand full comment
Owlftr13's avatar

Being us is really exhausting.

Expand full comment
Zap's avatar

like

Expand full comment
Lady Tavestock's avatar

I know, it’s because we care. (hugs)

Expand full comment
Major Kong's avatar

I wish someone would tell this to the Washington Post. Every freakin' day, if they're not running a piece on how old, frail, and senile Joe Biden in, they have polling showing that Trump is leading in swing states. Two today: "Trump leads in 5 of 7 states most likely to determine the election, polling averages say" and "Trump is trusted more than Biden on democracy among key swing-state voters". And with these are the Cletus Safaris looking for and quoting the dumbest, least knowledgeable cretins of fly over country.

Expand full comment
Bel-Ami's avatar

"Cletus Safaris " teehee. I love it!

Expand full comment