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Major Kong's avatar

The original Dr. Strangelove line was "pretty good time in Dallas" but since the movie was released soon after Kennedy's assassination, it was changed to Vegas by dubbing it over.

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Alpaca Suitcase's avatar

"Well look, if you think every last violent-sounding conspiracy-filled rant from Trump supporters makes them potential terrorists, you’d have a lot of potential terrorists, now wouldn’t you?"

You could cross reference the ranters with sales of guns, ammo, body armor and grenade launchers...oh wait, we can't bc a national gun registry would discriminate against ammosexuals.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Dok. First, let's elect Harris-Walz, expand our Senate majority, and take the House, as well as electing Democrats for local offices all over this land. Once we do that, we can deal with our domestic terrorist problem.

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JCfromNC's avatar

//“120 guns, 250,000 rounds of ammunition, body armor and a grenade launcher.”//

A fucking GRENADE LAUNCHER? How the fuck do you get your hands on a grenade launcher? How is it legal to have a fucking grenade launcher?

I mean, I love weapons and I like big ba-da-booms as much as the next person, but really, those things should be restricted to military use only (and some Hollywood action films).

I wouldn't mind having a non-functional reproduction of one, though. One of the ones with the big circular magazine. Although the ones that mounted under the M16 were cool, too. I can probably find a scale model of that combo somewhere.

Also, too:

//[...]repeatedly shooting at the DNC office, first with a BB gun, and then in the later two incidents with an actual gun what shot bullets. //

You know, my town not only prohibits the firing of guns what fire real bullets inside town limits, but also prohibits BB and/or pellet guns being discharged inside town limits. Unfortunately, I only found out about this *after* buying a rather expensive BB gun that mimicked the weight and recoil of my handgun and a fancy metal target to practice with.

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kasteel1's avatar

you sound like a real fucking idiot.

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JCfromNC's avatar

Well, thanks for the sharing your opinion, Random Internet Stranger! I’ll be sure to give it all the consideration it deserves.

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Michael's avatar

Similar. Have several air guns, including a .25 cal rifle.

Don't know what to do with them...ask a FOREST RANGER, where you go hunting with real guns, and kill aminals, if I could set up targets, and 'plink', for fun.

He was unwilling to comment on the possible consequences .

C.Y.A., indeed.

Or pay to go to a shooting range.

Dumb.

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Permanently Confused@68's avatar

Here I am. Living my life. Trying to be a good boyfriend, substitute teacher, carpenter, and friend to all cats... and we got this cabal this... billionaire-funded movement to, you know, take over the world. The stress started at the golden escalator, and it hasn't let up since. I want to grab these people by the shoulders and say "what the fuck is your problem". Get another hobby, and leave me the fuck alone.

At sometime the stress became Present Traumatic Stress Disorder. And life is just in the toilet. I'm planning a trip to Central Europe. I may end up staying.

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Michael's avatar

GET a DIFFERENT HOBBY, and leave me alone, is right.

Probably not Wonkers approved funny, but I told an ex- Army Ranger buddy of mine (both of us very late sixties), about the dude with the guns & ammo, etc.

So I said to him, Don't lie, you know you always wanted your own WW2 era BAZOOKA, and a flame thrower, right?

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beb's avatar

How many guns do you need for hunting? Maybe a heavy gauge shotgun and a small gauge one for varmints, And a large gauge rifle for deer hunting and a smaller squirrel gun. High velocity guns like an AR-15 or an AK-47 are no good for hunting because it leaves the body badly mangled, So four tops, and any one owning more than ten ought to be required to register as a gun dealer, because no one needs to own that many guns,

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Otis Campbell's avatar

"High velocity guns like an AR-15 or an AK-47 are no good for hunting because it leaves the body badly mangled"

AR-15s have significantly less muzzle energy than your grandpa's 30-30 deer rifle. Using an AR-15 to hunt deer is illegal in 13 states because it may just wound the animal rather than kill it and that would be cruel.

The AK shoots a bullet equivalent to the Winchester .308, it is quite powerful and is used widely for large game such as elk and bear. Neither of these platforms is so powerful it is useless for hunting because it will blow game to smithereens.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Those guns are vital to the Second American Revolution.

Oh, and he won't be passing them out willy nilly to the patriots like some common Base Armory. He's going to have to be reimbursed for all those purchases. A man's gotta eat, ya know.

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DemoCat's avatar

This election, and the Trump era in America can’t end soon enough.

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Anaid's avatar

Fucking terrifying. Tempe and Ahwatukee are my family's stomping grounds. I can't believe that asshole had 250k rounds AND a grenade launcher . The fuck?!?!?!

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Trump attracts idiots and assholes.

They say "He's one of us!" ... and they aren't wrong.

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diane's avatar

250 THOUSAND rounds? What kind of "sportsman" needs 250,000 rounds?

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Dina's avatar

Or a grenade launcher! Very sneaky deer? Really tough squirrels?

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Otis Campbell's avatar

The 37mm grenade laucher can be purchased with the same background check you would have to pass for any firearm. It is typically used to fire flares or smoke bombs. It is not legal to possess one if you use or intend to use it for anti-personnel work.

Larger grenade lauchers designed for anti-personnel are destructive devices according the the ATF and are not available for casual civilian use.

Dude probably had it to fire tear gas.

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Enter Ranting's avatar

He's a terrible shot.

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Michael's avatar

At least he knows it.

Plus, and, probably better investment than the stock market, for example.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

It's a big state. Lots of Democrats.

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diane's avatar

Jesus God.

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DJ Teetop's avatar

Wonkette's Symphony #9 "Ode to Pooties"

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Mexfiles's avatar

"Squires said Kelly’s weapons were all legally obtained..." That's the scary part right there.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

He's had time to check on the provenance of all 120 of them?

I think not.

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Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

Well, sure - “there were no grenades found with the launcher, making it merely a “tube.”” I always hunt possum with a tube that shoots grenades. He’d probably just used up all his grenades shooting possums with his tube. Totally legit sportsman.

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Otis Campbell's avatar

The 37mm grenade launcher available to civilians does have legitimate uses. It is often used to fire smoke bombs or flares in search & rescue work. They are used for wildlife control also, usually to fire beanbags at brown bear or moose to encourage them to leave populated areas. That may not be what this guy had in mind, but mere possession of a grenade laucher in the absence of munitions is not damning or even unusual.

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Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

It may not be damning but it certainly is unusual.

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Michael's avatar

I had immediate image of a possum wandering off, and a guy sighting it in, at close range, as the critter waddled off.

BOOM! Too close ? Got him.

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Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

Tubes do provide the opportunity for the ultimate self-own

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algore lactating's avatar

in iraq, a tube is a wmd precursor.

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Viole Falusche's avatar

OT, but this reminds me of the proposed new definition of British sausages as "High-fat Offal Tubes!" (see "Yes, Minister.")

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Permanently Confused@68's avatar

I think I saw them open for The Fat Bastards. I don't remember. I was in a sausage stupor. I have no idea what that means.

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Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

That was a great show

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algore lactating's avatar

is that part of being a f*gg*t family in the uk?

(i miss olde wonkette, where the british delicatessen usage was differentiated from the us slur for homosexual men.)

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Mark Lungo's avatar

Oh, they taste offal all right...

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Darrell Leland's avatar

Them possums, they get tough out inna wild, and thu first grenade jest bounces off. Ya gotta have two or three to do em in.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

That's why I need my AR-15

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Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

Or groundhogs. Effen groundhogs. Skunks hate ‘em. Roll a few grenades into their holes; see how the smarmy fat bastards like that!

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marydn's avatar

Doggos! Thank you for the doggo pic, Dok. No I do not associate pet pictures or any animal pictures with the assholes you write about. This is a public service, Dok. The less people who see these assholes, the less vomit on their computers. Win Win!

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Garnet's avatar

Yes, doggos are always good and are a welcome distraction from humans who refuse to rise above their own assholery.

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Gern Blansten's avatar

Kelly convo with parent as a child:

“What is that young man? Is that a grenade launcher?”

“No! I haven’t found any grenades for it yet! So it’s just a tube!”

“Right, the way the atom bomb you were building last week was just an ‘aerospace sculpture’ because you hadn’t found any plutonium yet?”

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Brianna Amore's avatar

Where does one obtain a grenade launcher in this country anyways? Not like you can waltz down to the local gun store and pick one up. And were they 40mm grenades or the more terroristy rocket propelled grenades?

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Army Surplus years ago, probably....

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Darth Trad's avatar

Ummm..... some guy had something interesting in his garage. Not a rare old car.

'a Douglas AIR-2 Genie, an unguided air-to-air rocket which was designed to carry a 1.5 kt W25 nuclear warhead'

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Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

No need for guidance with a nuke for a warhead - close enough is good enough. Sorry about the collateral damage.

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