Ask Wonkette: Polling All Our Exits

My question: Have you ever actually been interviewed by an exit-poller? Me neither. So how the fuck do they do it? Please identify me as a man with an enormous penis.Ah: The Mystery Pollster actually explained this whole process, but we like your point. We have never been, ahem, polled by an exit pollster (hmmm. . . exit poller. . . ), either. So they must not exist. We have also never seen gravity and we are right now floating up to the ceiling like a soft, puffy balloon.

Why isn't election day a national holiday? Is this because if it was a holiday more of the working class would vote and thus elitist Republicans prevent it?"Oooh! Ooo! We love the idea of Election Day as national holiday! Think of the sales!

PS: WI, 20 minutes ago: 51/48 KERRY