Aussie Billionaire Building New Titanic To Sink 'Wokeness'

For safety, all potential debris will be big enough for TWO survivors to float on.

You know it’s not a ‘door,’ right, you barbarian?

In a demonstration that either 1) some people in this crazy old world can still dream big dreams and make them happen, or 2) we need confiscatory taxation rates on the rich, an Australian mining billionaire plans to build a full-sized replica of the RMS Titanic, mostly because he thinks it would be neat but also to somehow make Wokeness go away.

Clive Palmer, who could really do the world some good by, say, investing in long-term renewable energy projects in the developing world, has instead been barking about building a fully functional but modernized version of the ill-fated ship since 2012, the centennial of that Night To Remember when the original hit an iceberg and sank, with more than 1,500 souls lost in a literal and metaphorical tragedy. Unless you prefer the Italian cartoon version with the mice and the giant baby octopus that saves the vessel and all aboard.

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This Cartoon About The Titanic In Which Everyone Survives Is YOUR OPEN THREAD

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As Rolling Stone explains in its interview with Palmer, the new ship would be historically accurate “right down to the cramped steerage cabins,” but with “cutting-edge navigation equipment, safety systems, and plenty of lifeboats.” Where the original had three coal-fired boilers, Titanic II will be diesel-powered, according to Palmer’s “Blue Star Lines” website.

Palmer, who has served in Australia’s upside-down parliament and “chaired a right-wing political party he founded,” said in a March 13 presser that his big luxe boat would also do metaphorical duty, but as a symbol of technology for peace:

“Titanic II something that needed to be built. We all know how to make war. We get armies and we fund wars. People know about that. But it is a lot harder to make peace. To make peace you have got to stick with it every day. You progress inch by inch.

“Titanic II is something that can provide peace. It can be a ship of peace between all countries of the world.”

OK, but building solar microgrids in the developing world and training local folks to maintain them would also … right, right, back to the ship, hooray peace.

In the interview, Pearson told Rolling Stone that his peace boat would also be a love boat, because everyone can identify with movie characters:

“[T]he Titanic is an international symbol. It’s a symbol of love and peace, really. I mean, the movie, everyone knows the Jack and Rose story. All of us have a Jack and Rose story of our own.”

Do we, though? Do we really? But it’s also about Values, like those of the strictly class-segregated Titanic passengers and crew, which are “disappearing” in our fallen times, he says. Nearly forgotten values such as “courage and self-sacrifice,” for example.

“You remember the musicians on the Titanic that stood there at their station, playing ‘Nearer My God to Thee’? They were more concerned about the people they were with than themselves. We’re running our culture into a self-centered society, so we want to refocus on those things.”

We suppose we could point to the tens of thousands of healthcare workers who fought exhaustion and burnout and kept going back to hospitals to care for people during the pandemic, the way healthcare workers always have. Then again, not English stoicism.

Palmer also wants us to know that after the pandemic, a big ship would help people come together again, even in steerage:

“Because we will have Irish dancing, we will have one-to-one contact in the cabin, the two of you sharing together and 30 of you sharing a bathroom. That’s part of the experience that part of the Titanic. It’s not the luxury part.”

Also, no vaccine requirements, for freedom.

Then there’s this, which sounds cool and historical but veers into some very weird shit:

“We’re going to make sure that in every room there’ll be a little panel that will tell you the history of the person who occupied your cabin. Did they survive, did they prevail? Everyone will get a costume so that they can come up to dinner, and it will be a real experience for them. One of the worst experiences, of course, on the Titanic was delousing. They took the third class up on deck and sprayed them in their underpants and bras. So depending on the weather, we’ll have delousing for our third class, too.”

We suspect some plans are more likely than others to come to fruition, and we are glad Mr. Palmer isn’t organizing tours of Bergen-Belsen.

Eventually we get to how Titanic II will cure wokeness. Or at least Rolling Stone asked. Here is the full exchange:

RS: This gets to something you said in your recent press conference, which is that the Titanic reflects traditional values instead of “woke” values. So can you explain what that means?

PALMER: There’s been a concept in society that you can cancel people. I think you know what I mean by “canceled” people, and we think that’s a terrible concept. The United States was founded on the rights of men to be different. The diversity that we’ve had in our economy, in our intellectual development has really meant that’s developed our society to a higher level. I’m talking about Western society in general. So the French Revolution, the American Revolution, all those things were brought about by individuals [claiming] their rights to express an opinion or view. I mean, you should have the right to be wrong.

Spending hundreds of millions of dollars on a replica of a famous ship, but better, is some very expensive free speech about the rights of the individual, which will … erase wokeness? Like, better than repeated showings of the Gary Cooper adaptation of The Fountainhead would?

In reply to another question, about why not spend the money “in ways that more directly benefit people who are poor, unhoused, suffering in war zones?” Palmer got annoyed with the press peon, huffing, “We do spend money on that. I spend millions of dollars on that — more than I think you do.” Then, back to the value of his boat as symbol and an inspiration, almost a holy mission:

“But one thing that you cannot take from anyone is the human spirit. And in one of these war zones, when you’re down and out, you’re up against it, you need to have a spirit that drives you on, something you’re looking at [that shows] life can get better. That makes life worth living on this planet. The Titanic reinforces some of those values for all the world. Same as human thought, freedom of thought — and things that stimulate the heart and soul are important. I don’t know if that answers it. But it’s just as important as food.”

How true this is. Give a hungry person in a war zone a blanket, and they’ll be physically warm, but how can that compare to the warmth of seeing a great big ship built by a very rich man who just wants to share inspiration and poetry and the human spirit, and also some delousings? King of the world, indeed.

[Rolling Stone]

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