16 Comments

Instead of "mass shootings," we could call them "density reductions." Has a nice science-y sound to it.

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"Woke up in a poopy mood" is also invalid, too.

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Gross, I do not want to watch a video of that guy masturbating.

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I liked it better as beer.

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Well, I have to admit I was late to accept the de-planetization of Pluto.

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Sadly, here's the thing. Suppose we did pass an Affordable Guns Act, and require every household to obtain a gummint-approved gun, (with a subsidy, or maybe we just do 'em all for free -- what, 100M households * $500 == a mere $50B).

If we did this, and everyone complied, it would only increase the number of guns in the US by about 33%.

There is almost nothing we can do at this point. We are drowning in guns.

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Somewhere in the matrix of crazy, he does mention having to demonstrate a need for a gun. I just hope that "The guy down the street doesn't like me, and I think he owns a gun" is not a valid reason.

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"freedom loving gunmen" with microscopic penises. FIFY

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What could possibly go wrong?

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People can use bullet proof vests (after testing of course) if they are some scary pants liberals about guns.

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We can start with the school mascots - instead of the Highland Hornets, La Cueva Bears and the West Mesa Mustangs, we would have the Highland Heckler & Kochs, La Cueva Berettas and the West Mesa Walthers.

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Neither do they, that is the beauty of it. Their fears are amorphous and endless, and include anyone who doesn't look like OR think like OR sound like OR _____ like them.

I'd feel a lot more pity for how incredibly awful living with that irrational fear must feel if I wasn't also pretty sure I could fit into one or more of the categories of people they might decide to be afraid of while heavily armed.

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Wild guess here, EVERYTHING?

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Pretty sure I could tolerate Universal Gun Care before they could tolerate universal free abortions for anyone who wants them, universal voting at every post office for a month before every election date, universal rights for people to be paid a fair wage regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, etc.

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I'm really looking forward to my annual "Easter Gun Hunt" next year with my family. Those loveable little scamps always have such a big smile on their faces when they wander around the yard finding all the loaded guns I've hidden for them...

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