Bad Bunny Having Best Week Of His Life, And MAGA Trash Is So Mad

But hey, TPUSA has Kid Rock, and they just started an Old Balls TPUSA for Old Balls, so that's cool too!

If you’ve seen grown adults out in the wild this week typing things like “More like Woke Carrot!” and “Who?” and “I’m going to watch Kid Rock instead, JEALOUS?” then congratulations, you found yourself in a comments section on Facebook, likely underneath an article about the best week in Bad Bunny’s lfe.

Or it might be your local comments section under an article announcing, at long last, the suspense is over, the lineup for the Turning Point USA alternative halftime show for white racists who don’t like that Bunny fellow because they’re racist.

Because that happened, and ooh boy, has there ever been anything more pathetic?

We all knew it would be headlined by Kid Rock and his gross mouth, and his one or two hits from two or three decades ago. But apparently they couldn’t even get Lee Greenwood, because his name is not the second one on the list. Maybe he’s proud to be from another country that day. And the rest of the list is truly actually worthy of people in comments sections saying “Who?” You know, as opposed to when the white racist Karens and Bubbas say it about literally the most famous singer in the world.

OK.

Brantley Gilbert? Lee Brice? Gabby Barrett? Truly never heard of them. All their truest fans are welcome to show up and tell us what we’re missing, but until or unless, we’ll continue to play hooky from that particular activity while we listen to DeBÍ TiRAR MáS FOToS some more. (That’s the Bad Bunny record that just won album of the year at the Grammys. It means “I should have taken more photos,” a woke thought from a woke man in a woke language. MAGA wouldn’t understand.)

Also no Nicki Minaj? Sad. Will Erika Kirk be there, or will she have something better to do besides grifting that day? (LOL.) Maybe Erika can do some kind of funny sketch where she chases JD Vance around the stage and lures him onto a couch that’s got a wedding ring hidden somewhere in the cushions, while she calls ICE on Usha.

The website Awful Announcing explains that Brantley Gilbert had some kind of manly squealing attack at a can of Bud Light back in 2023, so that tells you what you need to know about him. Brice has songs called “I Drive Your Truck” and “I Don’t Dance,” so he sounds like a thrill. Barrett was on American Idol, and look at her now.

And where will this surely standing-room-only event be broadcast live from?

It is unclear if the performance will be live or pre-recorded. Previously, TPUSA has shared that the show will happen “in an arena setting.”

Oh.

Anyway, we knew the TPUSA thing was going to be a piece of shit, so on that level, it does not disappoint. Looking at the flier, you can see how much network buy-in they got for this very real alternative festival for the real counter-culture in America, the one that loves Nazi Jesus and believes anti-white discrimination is what’s causing its erectile dysfunction. You can see it on the Daily Wire OR Real America’s Voice OR the Trinity Broadcasting Network OR a couple other really sad places.

Or you can stop being a little bitch and watch the halftime show, or go outside and whine quietly to yourself while you grapple with the notion that you may not be the main character of every story, and maybe this halftime show is meant to appeal to tens of millions of people who aren’t you.

Bad Bunny, real name Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, really is having the week of his life. And it’s not like he was having a lot of bad weeks before that. His album of the year win was the first for a Spanish-language album. He also won Best Música Urbana Album and Best Global Musical Performance for his song “EoO.” That makes six total Grammys, 17 Latin Grammys, a million other things, and he’s the most streamed artist in the world.

One of those wins on Sunday, he used to say “ICE out” and say that love is stronger than hate, a message MAGA Nazis receive like a cross covered in garlic:

His week started there, and it will end with him performing at the Super Bowl.

And MAGA is so angry about it. Literal actual comments we’ve been making fun of on Facebook today: “Bad Bunny will be chewing his Carrot!” “Watch How The Ratings Go Way Down During Half Time… The Million Dollar Advertisers Won’t be Happy !”

(Obviously sic throughout, MAGA aren’t strong English speakers.)

“Turning point has mega stars for half time show I’m watching that my kids are watching that”

OK.

Greg Gutfeld’s “conservatives are getting better at comedy and it’s scaring the liberals” late-night talk show featured a purported comedian named Greg Landau who claimed that Bad Bunny and Trevor Noah say the things they say — they insult America, according to the perception of the undeveloped MAGA brain — because “they don’t actually have the ability to talk trash in their own countries.” He continued, “so they come to America, make a great living, living the American dream, insulting our country, because they know in their homeland they would be killed for doing the very same thing.”

Puerto Rico, where Bad Bunny is from, is, of course, part of the United States, and he is a United States citizen, by virtue of having been born here.

Trevor Noah is from South Africa, which has been a democracy ever since they defeated the pigfuck fascist white people and ended apartheid. (Landau continued to babble that “there’s parts of Africa where they’ll put a gas-soaked tire around your neck and light you on fire, which is only slightly less painful than watching his version of The Daily Show.” Which could have potential as a joke if not for the fact that pretty much everyone with a seventh-grade education knows Africa is a continent made up of many countries. Also, go eat shit-covered rocks in hell, racist.)

Meanwhile, normal people are looking forward to the halftime show, or if Bad Bunny isn’t their thing, they might not care, which is totally an option. It only gets weird when it personally upsets you that a musical performance might not exist to cater to your whims. (And we guarantee that whatever viewership TPUSA gets for its meth-mouthed hootenanny, it would have been more if A) the lineup hadn’t sucked and B) some of its supporters weren’t secretly hate-watching Bad Bunny so that they might chase that personally upset feeling that makes them feel like they’re part of the conversation.)

Seattle Seahawks QB Sam Darnold weighed in on the Bad Bunny performance: “It’s unbelievable,” he said. “I love his music. It’s great to have him perform at the Super Bowl.” He added that he wished he would get to see it live, but alas, he will be performing important football-related duties in the locker room during halftime, getting ready for the second half.

MAGA is all over comments sections about that story, self-soothing by suggesting that if Darnold didn’t say that, he would be fined, or that he was otherwise being forced to say it. They’re so desperate to believe Bad Bunny really isn’t that popular, or that people who say they like him are faking it. It’s so weird, they’re all such fucking losers.

Meanwhile Seahawks defensive end DeMarcus Lawrence said this:

“We have so many cultures and ethnic backgrounds in America,” Lawrence said. “I think it’s time to start embracing all of them, bringing them in the fold — and shoot, that’s what really makes America great.”

WOKE! WOKE! WOKE! WOKE! WOKE!

So yes, Bad Bunny está teniendo la mejor semana de su vida, at least as far as we can see. (He should remember tirar algunos fotos!)

But don’t worry, on top of hosting Kid Rock’s alternative halftime for people who are dating their first cousins, TPUSA also just announced that it’s starting an Old Balls TPUSA, for Old Balls Americans who are gonna die soon but still have some hate left in the tank.

So they’re having a cool week too.

OPEN THREAD.

[Barrett Media / TMZ]

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