BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT OF SOUTH CAROLINA

Jesus, that was fast. With, uh, 0% reporting, MSNBC is projecting a massive victory for Barry Hussein Barack Obama and a crushing, horrific, humbling defeat for Hillary and Bill Clinton. Just kidding about the last part.

Obama now has two real wins, or three real wins ... or, actually, this is the first non-caucus thing he won. Iowa: Caucus, not a real election. Nevada: Caucus, not a real election, both Hillary and Obama "win." South Carolina: According to CNN, black people now hate the Clintons. Good job, Clintons!

Struggling for 2nd Place: Clinton and John Edwards. Poor Edwards. He was born in South Carolina and lives next door, in a giant mansion that covers the entire state of North Carolina.