Well, hello, Wonketteers! This will presumably be the last "Barry Can You Hear Me?" of whatever year it is, so I'd like to take a moment to thank all of you knuckle-draggers for straining your third-grade reading skills in order to absorb the pure genius I spew at you each and every Friday. What a glorious reward it is for you, the unwashed masses, to take a break from your jobs at the scrimshaw shop and the local cooperage franchise in order to have a brief meditative moment scanning this lady-scrivener's intellectual dispatches from the heart of Obama Fandonia, a kingdom that I rule with an iron pussy. Speaking of Barack, let's see what that handsome scamp got up to this week!
*Lights a cigarette and inhales slowly and deeply* *Long exhale* Happily sighs and asks, “Was it good for you?” "I'll take the wet spot, it was mostly me anyway."
Is the barbed wire butterfly tattoo real this time?
Ball and Chain.
Unicorn fat.
I wonder how many poor young boys found out the hard way?
This is Wonkette, I'm surprised at the restraint.
Would this be two books then, or just the one?
Remind Ken that Christ was almost certainly not born in December. The celebration was apparently moved to rebrand that pagan solstice worship.
*Lights a cigarette and inhales slowly and deeply* *Long exhale* Happily sighs and asks, “Was it good for you?” "I'll take the wet spot, it was mostly me anyway."
I'm not straight, so perhaps I'm just ignorant, but wouldn't "iron pussy" really, really hurt?