Because Taiwan Is Always Getting Screwed By the U.S.

The Taipei Times reports:

President Chen Shui-bian yesterday used the Oscar nominated movie Brokeback Mountain as an analogy to describe relations between the US and Taiwan, stressing the importance of both sides seeking ways to reconcile and cooperate with one another to reach the common pursuit of a "great new world."

Huh? The President of Taiwan is comparing U.S.-Taiwan relations to a sublimely dysfunctional relationship between two gay ranch hands?

Okay, fine; we'll play along. Taiwan is definitely Jake Gyllenhaal, since it's always getting fucked in the ass by Heath Ledger, a.k.a. the United States. So if America is Heath Ledger, then mainland China must be... Michelle Williams. (God, this is starting to sound like a Maureen Dowd column -- if she ever bothered to write about U.S.-Taiwan relations.)

We wish we knew how to quit making strained analogies and lame jokes based on Brokeback Mountain!

 Brokeback Mountain Sets Good Example, Chen Says [Taipei Times]