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Ben Bernanke Saves Collapsed U.S. Economy!

Thanks to Martin Luther King Jr.'s stand for economic justice and his resulting assassination which provided U.S. markets with a holiday from the global economic collapse, Wall Street didn't get hit again until this morning. And by "Wall Street," we mean your 401k, 403b, IRA, access to basic business or consumer credit, income, value of your house, and value of your young children's labor (selling apples down on Main Street by the Starbucks soup kitchen). But don't worry, because Ben Bernanke and his Federal Reserve superheroes just did an emergency interest rate cut. Head over to the PayDay Loan joint and pick up a case of Cristal!
Yes, wait, but what rates were cut, and by how much? Says soon-to-be presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg's news service: "The central bank cut the target overnight lending rate to 3.5 percent from 4.25 percent."
See? Everything's going to be fine. Just look at the stock market. Well, maybe don't look right now, because they're all way down again. The Dow is down more than 200, or another 2%. About the same percentage drop over the S&P 500 index and the NASDAQ.
Fed Cuts Rate 0.75 Percentage Point in Emergency Move [Bloomberg]
Painting Wall St. Red [MarketWatch]