152 Comments
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Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

I know. I never understood why religious folk who do sermons don't get some sort of public speaking course in the seminary. It's a major part of the service, and it goes on forever.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Became an atheist my sophomore year of college, which means I went to church way too hungover my freshman year after too much Saturday night. Those sermons were blow out our brains stultifying.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Ms. Gnome, at the ripe old age of 61, couldn't get her license renewed when the vision test revealed that she had no peripheral vision thanks to years of lithium-induced microseizures. Lack of peripheral vision isn't something you notice on a conscious level.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

I'm waiting to hear from the newest Trump endorser, Rand Paul.

alwayspunkindrublic's avatar

You're kidding, right? Please?

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Nope. Little Randy endorsed the Orange One.

alwayspunkindrublic's avatar

I guess it makes sense...libertarianism is pretty much "I'm well off, so fuck everyone else if I don't get what I want".

Bub the misanthropic zombie's avatar

That's all I am to you? A sammich maker?! (Flounces off in a huff...)

Bub the misanthropic zombie's avatar

(tiptoeing quietly out of room...)

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🇺🇦 🇺🇦's avatar

Wait .... Carson is awake? When did this happen? How come I didn't get the memo?

chicken thief's avatar

Sixteen just isn't enough! Should'a had one at least with really Preznitial looking ties.

Tiny kaiju's avatar

Even betterer. It's a recurring joke in MST3k's treatment of Parts : The Clonus Horror.

chicken thief's avatar

You'd think he had Carly running the show the way it's nose diving.

Tiny kaiju's avatar

But it was wonderfully written. Thank you Snipy.

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

Absolutely. Does JEB have any more brothers? Sisters? Cousins? Jar-siblings?