Ben Carson Pretty Sure Y'all Just Haven't Heard Enough Of Donald Trump's Rapey Sexxx Talk

Ben Carson knows dirty talk.

Thank heavens, Ben Carson has decided to weigh in on his boy Donald Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women. You see, ALL men talk like that, according to Carson, and if you haven't heard boys talking like that, then maybe you should go find some!

Carson explained on the CNN that eleven years ago, Trump was a "billionaire playboy," and thus not concerned with acting like the type of decent human being he needed to be to run for president. Carson knows about this because surely he wasn't thinking about his own presidential run back when he was stabbing everybody all the time, whenever he wanted. People change!

He called Trump's comments "abominable," but also too had some other thoughts:

Call it whatever you need to call it to make it feel good to you, but the fact of the matter is, I mean, I've been in lots of places ... growing up, listening to people talking about their great tales of sexual conquest. You know, it's an immature thing to do. Immature people do it!

They brag about sexual assault, like Donald Trump did?

Don't mischaracterize what I'm saying.

Sorry, Dr. Carson, keep going.

What I am saying is that that kind of banter goes around all the time. Is it the right kind of thing to do? Absolutely not. Is it something that I've ever done? Absolutely not ...

As I was growing up, people were always trying to talk about their sexual conquests, and trying to make themselves appear like, you know, Casanova. I'm surprised you haven't heard that. I really am.

Anchor Brianna Keilar was like, "I haven't heard it," to which Carson replied:

Maybe that's the problem. Maybe that's the problem. ... Maybe that's the problem.

MAYBE THAT IS THE PROBLEM? Brianna Keilar also asked that question, because she was like WTF, dude? People need to hear more guys talkin' all rapey, and then they'll lighten the heck up about Trump's comments?

OK, one more time! Yes, boys in the locker room (or wherever) talk gross sometimes, about ladies they'd like to bone -- gay men talk about dudes they'd like to bone too, and we bet all you women out there are absolutely appalling , as well -- and even say things like, "Ooh, I bet her pussy is real swell!" They might go so far as to say things about ladies they DID bone and say, "I can confirm that her pussy was real swell!" #LockerRoomTalk

THAT IS NOT WHAT EVERYBODY IS GROSSED OUT ABOUT, YOU IDIOT REPUBLICANS.

The thing people are highly offended by is Trump's verbatim claim that he used his star power to SEXUALLY ASSAULT WOMEN. That is not "locker room talk." That is an admission of sex crime. Hey look, here are some professional athlete dudes, you know, the kinds who hang out in REAL locker rooms, saying Trump's comments were REAL BAD:

Dozens of sports stars were offended by the former Apprentice host’s defense. Oakland A’s pitcher Sean Doolittle tweeted, “As an athlete, I’ve been in locker rooms my entire adult life and uh, that’s not locker room talk.” [...]

Chris Conley of the Kansas City Chiefs also weighed in on the controversial remarks. “Just for reference. I work in a locker room (every day)… That is not locker room talk. Just so you know…” The NFL player added in a second tweet, “Have I been in every locker room? No. But the guys I know and respect don’t talk like that. They talk about girls but not like that. Period.”

There are more reactions, from actual sportsball guys, at the link!

So either Ben Carson is dense and can't tell the difference between "sexy Casanova talk" and "I did sexual assault and I am bragging about it," or he's actually rapey and gross like Trump. We dunno.

Maybe we just need to hear Dr. Carson talk nasty some more, so we can understand where he and Mr. Trump really are coming from.

[ JoeMyGod / US Magazine ]