Bernie Sanders Endorses Debbie Wasserman Schultz's Hot Opponent. Weird, So Does Wonkette!

 
 Bernie Sanders had very many GRRR MAD things to say about DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz this weekend, and very many GRRR HAPPY things to say about the guy who's primarying her for her seat in the House. (Bernie Sanders is GRRR all the time lately, mostly.) "I ENDORSE THE HOT GUY," he didn't say exactly, but he should have, because get a load of him already!

 
 well HELLO THERE.

Hell, Wonkette endorsed Tim Canova aaages ago, just as soon as we doublechecked that he wasn't a LaRouche-style crank but was an actual person, with actual policy experience, and a good platform, and was not in fact Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a shithead.

In an interview with Jake Tapper, Sanders pointed out that Tim Canova has better positions than DWS (WHICH IS TRUE!), and said that he would not reappoint Wasserman Schultz as head of the Democratic party. This has been received on the Internet as a declaration of war, as though anybody would reappoint Wasserman Schultz to the Democratic National Committee. Wasserman Schultz may not be singlehandedly responsible for Sanders lagging behind Hillary Clinton (she isn't), but it isn't because she didn't try .

The only time DWS has been in the news lately for anything besides being a shitty DNC chair everyone hates, it was for cosponsoring a bill for the payday lending industry that defanged regulations put in place by Elizabeth Warren's consumer protection bureau. "For the payday loan industry" is one of those positions that is literally impossible to square with being a Democrat, much less the head of the whole damn party. Like, you can be a Democratic and be pro-life; you can be a Democrat and not be that pacific (obviously!); you can be a Democrat who worked for Goldman Sachs. But you cannot be a Democrat and say "it is cool to do usury of thousands of percent interest on the very poorest people in the country, who literally can't feed their babies, because they are the easiest pickings."

Canova is the fourth person Sanders has endorsed with an email money bomb.

Sanders sent out a fundraising email on behalf of Canova on earlier in the day.

"The political revolution is not just about electing a president, sisters and brothers. We need a Congress with members who believe, like Bernie, that we cannot change a corrupt system by taking its money," the email said.

But once again, here's the problem: We like Canova! Bernie endorsing him is cool! DWS sucks at her job(s) and in life! But presumably Sanders will need more than a Congress of four. Four people isn't even an orgy; it's just a foursome. It is, however, enough people to play golf.

[ CNN ]