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Bernie Would Have Won! Hillary Is A Criminal! Wonkette's A Shill, And DNC Cheated!
Yay friends! NOW PREPARE TO BE MURDERED. HELLO ALL WONKETTE READERS, PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE.
We see you there, being dicks to each other. We see you screaming at idiot Hillary voters, and idiot Bernie voters, and idiot Jill Stein voters (that is allowed). Here is the opportunity to get it allllll out of your system, because if we see you bitching at each other in the comments after this one last post, you will be banned with a vengeance.
If you want to explain that John Lewis and Nancy Pelosi need to be purged from the party, do it at Twitter, not on Wonkette. (Except just this once!) If you want to explain that all Democrats are just warmongers and need to be eaten from within, have fucking at it. If you want to put everyone's head on a pike because for some reason you think Democrats don't care about the white working class, because they also care about working class people of other colors, bitch away. (You're wrong, and fuck you, but whatever, let it all hang out!) If you think Bernie could have won, because a poll when he never had a dime spent against him said so, that is your right. If you think who the Congressional Black Caucus got funding from is more important than the work they're doing trying to stop voter suppression, go right ahead!
And after this post, you can keep it to yourself. So scream away! Tell us how nobody who voted for Hillary should be allowed anywhere, ever. Explain that we are racist against white poors. Sing it from the mountaintop! And you too, Hillary voters. Keep being assholes to our Bernie brethren and sistren; keep being fucking dicks to them for their opinion that's different from yours. IN THIS POST ONLY.
Because, like we said, if we see you doing it ever again after this one last post, we will can your ass. We've had enough recriminations on the rest of the Internet to last us, and we don't particularly love seeing our party (for most of us) being torn the fuck apart with bitchy I-told-you-so's and demands for a purge.
"But it needs to be torn apart" -- you. Go join the Black Bloc and smash some windows then. You're not needed on Wonkette.
After just this one last post.
A note from Yr Friendly Comments Moderator: No, we haven't suspended the rules altogether. Go ahead and be total assholes to each other and get it out of your system. Moderation will be relatively light, but we're still going to remove calls for violence, overt threats, and attempts to call for real-world harassment of people you disagree with. You want Thunderdome, you'll have to take your chainsaw elsewhere. Moderator reserves the right to be unfair, JUST LIKE THE ELECTION.