Beware, Conservatives! Fred Thompson Will Break Your Heart
Real conservatives are getting very creeped out by all the Reaganific love for Fred Thompson, and they want you to know there's more to being a divorced senile old Hollywood actor than being a divorced senile old Hollywood actor, or something. Anyway, here's The Truth about Hollywood Fred:
* Nixon thought he was a moron.
* Everybody else thinks he's a moron, too.
* So fucking lazy.
* Amazingly stupid.
* Loves campaign-finance reform, which is un-American.
* Too stupid and lazy to get Bill Clinton even with kind of a real scandal (Chinese lobbyist stuff).
* Doesn't care about fiscal conservatives or the crazed liberal spending of the Bush Administration, because he's so stupid and lazy.
* Barry Goldwater would totally hate Fred Thompson.
* Before Reagan ran for president, he spent years hanging out with total right-wing conservatives. Fred Thompson just hangs out in gay bathhouses, because he's a homo.
Conservatives, Beware of Fred Thompson [Conservatives Betrayed]