212 Comments

Your internal monologue needs work, comrade.

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This is bad poetry and you should feel bad.

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Don't forget boring.

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I expect in the very near future, all flights into and out of American airports will be domestic only.

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Because some states? I'm looking to co-ordinate my retirement – and subsequent wake & bake lifestyle – with the inevitable Kansas enLIGHTenment.

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And a rabbit. Must have rabbit.

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This one sounds like my friend when he's off his meds.

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More like "aborted."

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years of practice.

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She is truly a thing of beauty.

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The federal government has been trying to exterminate muggles since 1937. How's that working out?

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No.

What the fuck makes you think I'm Russian?

Oh... wait... I know!

You also think Moruga is somehow 'mexican', so the answer is 'You're a moron'.

Ladies and gentlemen, the American education system in all its glory.

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This is Bill Barr looking dapper. https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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No comfy cushions for them

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To paraphrase The Dude, Barr is human paraquat.

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I just received a weird phone call from a fake number in Kansas. I also just invited someone who works for your Kremlin to come eat fish tacos at my cabin. Is this related?

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