Bill O'Reilly Doubts Even Donald Trump Can Find Jobs For Dumb Tattooed Blacks

Needs a dragon or something

Who says conservative media outlets never ask Donald Trump the tough questions? On Fox's The O'Reilly Factor Monday night, host Bill O'Reilly interrupted Donald Trump's fantasy about solving all of America's race issues by "bringing jobs back from China" with a note of realism: Lots and lots of American black people will never be able to get jobs because they are "ill-educated and have tattoos on their foreheads." That's a pretty astute observation, coming from a guy who has no idea how the tides work. 

Trump, who has always had a great relationship with The Blacks, was explaining how he'll win the black vote:

I’m telling you, it’s an economic message,” Trump said. “If you look at President Obama, he’s been a president for almost eight years, it will be eight years, you have with black youth, with African American youth, you have a 59 percent unemployment."

This is where we should note that according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, it's closer to 32 percent, although the Economic Policy Institute puts the combined unemployed/underemployed rate at around 51 percent. In any case, it's definitely way too high. But don't worry, Donald Trump will bring jobs back from China and Mexico, by force if necessary. He just will, OK?

But O'Reilly remained skeptical, since there are all these cultural factors that make blacks hard to employ (O'Reilly politely refrained from spelling "cultural factors" with an n and two g's ):

“But how are you going to get jobs for them?” O’Reilly interjected. “Many of them are ill-educated and have tattoos on their foreheads, and I hate to be generalized about it, but it's true. If you look at all the educational statistics, how are you going to get jobs for people who aren't qualified for jobs?”

We'll confess, we don't have any ready statistics on the percentages of unemployed blacks vs. unemployed whites or hispanics with facial tattoos, but we'll go out on a limb and suggest that Billo is full of shit, as usual. It's a safe operating assumption.

Trump guaranteed that when he's president, Apple computers will once again be made in the USA, just because they will, OK? But O'Reilly, as he does, perseverated:

"But you have to have skills to make Apple computers.”

“It’s more challenging for a poor child in Harlem without parental guidance in a school that’s falling apart than it is for some white kid out in Garden City," he continued. "You say you can bring jobs back, but if the kid isn’t qualified to do the job and can’t do the work – I mean – you’ve got to get into the infrastructure of the African-American community."

Besides, how are you going to get them to stay at work on the assembly line when they're always screaming, "M-Fer, I want some more iced tea!"? This is where we could raise our hands and suggest that actually investing in education for the last 30 years might have been a good idea, instead of simply hoping vouchers and privatized charter schools for some would do the job. But that wasn't Trump's concern. No, Trump had another answer: spirit! He's got it, yes he do! He's got spirit, how about YOU?

"Well it is true. It’s about education, but it’s also about spirit,” Trump said. “A lot of people don’t have spirit. Not only African-Americans, but we don’t have spirit in our country."

Trump would presumably bring back spirit in this country by winning a lot, and possibly by having pep rallies, huge beautiful pep rallies that would get our spirit back, because now, we've got nothing, we never win anymore. Not even when we buy a big prosthetic forehead and wear it on our real head, tattooed or not.

The entire exchange left Yr Wonkette's forehead with a pounding headache right behind our eyes, but it did at least call to mind another idea for creative tattoos that could be applied to both Billo and Donald. In Neal Stephenson's great cyberpunk novel  Snow Crash,  one of the bad guys is ordered by a court to get his forehead tattooed with a warning to everyone he meets: "Poor Impulse Control."

[ Politico / Mediaite ]