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Birdie Chatter: Carville In Ecstasy
6: 10 p.m.
James Carville, everyone's favorite analyst/bald sex-gnome, is declaring smashing exit polls for Dems, we hear third or fourth or maybe fifth hand . . . ooo! Hands everywhere! it's like an O'Reilly phone call over here! Also: turnout of 121 million. We picture him doing some sort of naked, Ashlee-esque jig, but then we hit ourselves in the forehead with our NBC-emblazoned mini Dewars bottle and the image passes. We also hear there's a whole lot of conservative operatives crapping themselves. Of course, not Mary Matalin -- as an alien life form, she does not crap.