15 Comments

Surprised Bishop didn't argue that little boys typically are just <i>asking</i> for it -- so it's really the little boys who are guilty. What a stupid.

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It may have made it up to Minnesota, but it didn't make it into the Catholic Church. Aside from all the rape, this is the church that recruits 14-year-old girls in the Philippines and South America to stock the depopulated convents of Europe. 3 square meals a day, a roof over your head, a bit of school, relieving your parents of responsibility for you, and all you have to give up in exchange is the chance at marriage and a family.

Hey, someone's got to clean the priest's house.

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<i>“I’m not sure whether I knew it was a crime or not.” </i>

Pfft. All he had to do was read Paul's epistle to the Ephesians:

"This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth, putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour; sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; and walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us. But all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. But as for the raping of small children in your care, be not backward or slow in the doing of it, for truly this is the service of the Lord.

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I believe that's "Show Me Yours and I'll Stick Mine In It".

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Canon law, civil law, church law...he's got all these things buzzing around in his head, like Herman Cain being interviewed by a newspaper editorial board in 2012. The gotcha questions are unfair, in that they assume he as some underlying sense of what is right and what is not right, or that he might have the human empathy to imagine, "Wow, when I was 14, I'd have preferred not be butt-zechsed by a flabby old man." It's not anywhere near that simple! How many angels do <i>you</i> think can dance on the head of a pin?

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“I’m not sure whether I knew it was a crime or not,”

Keep talking, Archbishop. God needs a few more minutes for the firing solution on the bolt of divine retribution. You may experience some momentary discomfort.

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I'm guessing then he can tell you which book and verse it says little boys should hide in your robes whilst you are going commando

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All these new-fangled laws about sex and children have his head a-swimmin'.

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Right and wrong are such vague concepts aren't they? I mean, who's to say I was wrong and you were right?

Mistakes were made. Let's just go forward with a clean slate, okay?

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Also, I'm not sure I remember. Who am I? What is this "deposition"? Am I deposited? Arglebargleslksdlklzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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<em>"I was told that it was only a crime if you get caught and convicted. That was never my intent."</em>

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"Human faces evolved to be punched by human fists, researchers say". And none was more evolved than Carlson's.

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To be fair, it's possible that he grew up in Georgia or Alabama, where 16 got you a high-five.

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Actually, God has, shall we say, <i>outsourced</i> the administration of Carlson's fate.

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Albs, cassocks, sinctures and surpicles are all really hawt accessories.

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