Republicans Say Stupid Sh*t Lies, Weekend Show Edition!

It's your Sunday Show Rundown!

Let's begin today's Sunday show roundup with National Security Adviser and least favorite Bolton (after Michael and Ramsey), John. Trump's NSA appeared on CNN's "State of The Union," proclaiming the "unquestionable success" of the second Trump/Kim summit, even though no deal was reached and Trump was humiliated. Jake Tapper asked Bolton about Trump's statements regarding Otto Warmbier , the American college student who was sent home in a coma from North Korea and died shortly after being returned to the US; Trump said at a press conference that Kim Jong Un denied knowing anything about Warmbier, and so case closed. Trump stated, "He tells me that he didn't know about it, and I will take him at his word. Those prisons are rough. They're rough places, and bad things happen. But I don't believe he knew about it."

TAPPER: He's going to take Kim Jong-un at his word that he didn't know about it. The Warmbier family put out a statement. They disagree. They say Kim Jong-un is responsible. Are they wrong?

BOLTON: Look, the president made it very clear he considers what happened to Otto Warmbier an act of brutality that's completely unacceptable to the American side. I have heard him before the summit itself, before the press conference, talk about how deeply he cared about Otto Warmbier and his family. The fact is, the best thing North Korea could do right now would be to give us a full accounting of what happened and who was responsible for it.

That's quite a change or non-commitment for Bolton. Especially when, shortly after Otto Warmbier's death, Bolton was basically egging on a full scale regime change in North Korea.

Tapper, however, pressed Bolton further on this and that is when we got a rare moment of unintentional self-awareness from Bolton:

TAPPER: Do you take Kim Jong-un at his word?
BOLTON: The president takes him at his word.TAPPER: No, I know he does, but what about you?
BOLTON: My opinion doesn't matter.

For once we agree: Your opinion doesn't (or shouldn't) matter, John Bolton. You've been wrong so many times , you are the mustachioed King of Wrong Takes.

While Trump was playing "Diplomacy for Dunces" in North Korea, Congress was holding the Michael Cohen hearing (we liveblogged it here!). One of the featured players of this hearing was ranking member and sexual-abuse-ignoring former wrestling coach, Rep. Jim Jordan. Jordan was on NBC's "Meet The Press" to once again run through the EXACT same script he used during the Cohen hearing about everyone who is wrong BUT Trump (Comey, McCabe, Jim Baker, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, Fusion GPS, Christopher Steele, The Hamburglar, Keyser Soze, Biff Tannen, Thanos…). But Chuck Todd pressed him about the company that Trump has kept for years:

TODD: Why does the president surround himself with people who can't tell the truth?
JORDAN: You're missing the big --
TODD: You're not answering my question about --
JORDAN: You're missing the biggest problem --TODD: Why does the president surround himself with people who can't tell the truth to law enforcement or Congress?JORDAN: When have you ever seen an agency where the top five people, who, oh, by the way, Chuck, ran the Clinton investigation, launched and ran the Russia investigation, have either been fired, demoted, or left the F.B.I., the top people?
TODD: Again, it doesn't -- you haven't answered the question I asked. Why does -- the president has surrounded himself with people who cannot tell the truth to law enforcement or congress?
JORDAN: The president's surrounded himself with some people that, maybe, he shouldn't. I don't know. But when he was running this campaign, Mr. Manafort was there, was part of the campaign. Mr. Manafort had been involved with Republican politics before. Why he selected him, I don't know. What I'm most concerned about is what took place at the highest levels -- our committee is supposed to be the government oversight committee […]

Jim Jordan is what happens when a racist wishes upon a star to turn a "But her emails" tweet into a real boy. He cannot answer a simple question about Trump's judgment or his duty as part of the Oversight Committee without pointing out that the president fires anyone who might have something on him. Also, it was probably Hillary Clinton. Need further proof? Here is another exchange showing his blind loyalty to this sinking administration:

TODD: Do you concede that the president has not always told the truth on Russia?
JORDAN: I don't think the president's lied about Russia at all.
TODD: Not once.
JORDAN: There's been no collusion -- even --
TODD: Not about the Trump Tower Moscow --
JORDAN: Chuck, even --
TODD: -- project?
JORDAN: -- James Comey --

Fuck Jim Jordan for making Chuck Todd look like a journalistic hero with his stupidity.

We end today with Fox News' D-Squad, "Fox & Friends Weekend." Hosted by a former MTV's "Real World" alum, the reason employees must wash hands signs exist and a sentient jar of mayonnaise had a special guest: HUD official and Rep. Mark Meadows's human prop, Lynne Patton. After this succinct response tweet from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez:

We have Black staff. We don't parade them around to show the world how diverse our team is, and use that as some kind of evidence of the absence of racism. That's what tokenism is. https: //t.co/5qWMqy9522 
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) March 2, 2019 

Patton decided to add this bit of " wisdom ":

Besides doubling down on the environmentally stupid, Patton thinks everyone who ever hires a black person has to thank Trump for that. What kind of bullshit Sunken Place logic is this??! No wonder she was so easily used as a prop! She feels it's ok to thank people for doing nothing for you. Explains POC Republicans completely. Have a Week!

 
  Unsung American Hero   media2.giphy.com 

Wonkette is ad-free and supported ENTIRELY by YOU. Thank you, we love you!