Bone Spurs Gonna Bury Any Law Firm That Tries To Step To Him
The revenge tour against the judiciary has got a lot of stops.
America is really not prepared for the kind of fascist oligarchy we are flying into on a hot, greased water slide. Donald Trump’s REVENGE TOUR 2025 has attacked lawyers, judges, DOJ/ FBI employees, and now individual law firms that ever dared to challenge his Holy Retroactive Right to commit all of the crimes, all of the times. And now the big law firm Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison, has decided to settle instead of getting sucked into his meat grinder.
Paul, Weiss crossed Trump’s butthairs for the sin of fighting how his first administration did things, like separating migrant kids from their parents and putting them in cages; having fundraisers for Democrats; and worst of all, employing Trump’s sworn enemy, former porner-peener-payoff prosecutor Mark Pomerantz, as a partner. Now after a simpering Oval Office meeting, firm chairman Brad S. Karp has allowed Paul, Weiss to agree to “remedial action,” which included a donation/bribe of $40 million in to-be-agreed-upon legal work; Karp humiliatingly throwing his former law-firm partner Pomerantz under the bus and declaring Pomerantz was wrong for trying to prosecute Trump for crimes as a prosecutor; and vowing that the firm shall go forth and only do DEI for conservatives.
Trump Truth-Socialed his victory on Thursday:
Today, President Donald J. Trump agreed to withdraw his March 14, 2025 Executive Order regarding the Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP law firm (“Paul, Weiss”), which has entered into the following agreement with the President:
1. Paul, Weiss agrees that the bedrock principle of American Justice is that it must be fair and nonpartisan for all. Our Justice System is betrayed when it is misused to achieve political ends.Lawyers and law firms play a vital role in ensuring that we live up to that standard as a Nation. Law firms should not favor any political party when it comes to choosing their clients. Firms also should not make decisions on whom to hire based on a person’s political affiliation. To do otherwise is to deny some Americans an equal opportunity for our services while favoring others.
Lawyers abandon the profession’s highest ideals when they engage in partisan decision-making, and betray the ethical obligation to represent those who are unpopular or disfavored in a particular environment.
2. Paul, Weiss affirms its unwavering commitment to these core ideals and principles, and will not deny representation to clients, including in pro bono matters and in support of non-profits, because of the personal political views of individual lawyers.
3. Paul, Weiss will take on a wide range of pro bono matters that represent the full spectrum of political viewpoints of our society, whether “conservative” or “liberal.”
4. Paul, Weiss affirms its commitment to merit-based hiring, promotion, and retention, and will not adopt, use, or pursue any DEI policies. As part of its commitment, it will engage experts, to be mutually agreed upon within 14 days, to conduct a comprehensive audit of all of its employment practices.
5. Paul, Weiss will dedicate the equivalent of $40 million in pro bono legal services over the course of President Trump’s term to support the Administration’s initiatives, including: assisting our Nation’s veterans, fairness in the Justice System, the President’s Task Force to Combat Antisemitism, and other mutually agreed projects.
Paul, Weiss had $2.63 billion in billing last year, has 200 partners and more than a thousand lawyers, so they would have been better positioned than most firms to fight attempted extortion. But here they are, making a trato with el diablo. Most of the big law firms do a lot of government work, and cutting off their ability to get federal contracts or even step into a federal building would effectively be the death of a firm, and big law firms just have so many lawyer-mouths to feed. Karp justified his choice to employees:
Only several days ago, our firm faced an existential crisis. The executive order could easily have destroyed our firm. It brought the full weight of the government down on our firm, our people, and our clients. In particular, it threatened our clients with the loss of their government contracts, and the loss of access to the government, if they continued to use the firm as their lawyers. And in an obvious effort to target all of you as well as the firm, it raised the specter that the government would not hire our employees.
We were hopeful that the legal industry would rally to our side, even though it had not done so in response to executive orders targeting other firms. We had tried to persuade other firms to come out in public support of Covington and Perkins Coie. And we waited for firms to support us in the wake of the President’s executive order targeting Paul, Weiss. Disappointingly, far from support, we learned that certain other firms were seeking to exploit our vulnerabilities by aggressively soliciting our clients and recruiting our attorneys.
You other dick lawyers made us do it!
Thus emboldened by his successful extortion, on Saturday Trump sharted a memo to Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem, demanding the Department of Justice/DHS yank federal contracts, security credentials and even access to government buildings from any lawyers or firms that pursue “unreasonable” or “frivolous” litigation against the federal government. Which of course, means any kind of litigation. There’s 133 current cases against his Holy Administration, and he has vowed by Maria Bartiromo’s bumpit that he will go after them all.
And Trump’s latest memo called out by name Marc Elias, who worked for Perkins Coie in 2016, the firm that’s always been the biggest burr in his girdle; it represented Hillary Clinton and the DNC in 2015, and retained Fusion GPS to do research that led to that pee-tape dossier. Since then, Elias started his own firm that’s been fighting all of the Cleta Mitchell voter suppression bullshit, making him one of the hardest-working men in the anti-voter-suppression business, so Trump would no doubt love to find a way to disappear him to a Salvadoran prison ASAP.
A-Hole Trump Coup Lawyer Sick Of Gross Youngs Voting, What If We Just Made That Totally Impossible?
On March 12, Judge Beryl Howell partially blocked Trump’s death-penalty Perkins Coie order, in spite of the administration’s Trump can do whatever he wants is why argument. But, that was not encouraging enough to keep Paul, Weiss from running and kissing the ring as fast as they could. And eesh, when the country’s biggest law firms aren’t willing to bet money nor pride that the justice system can uphold rule of law and stop flagrantly illegal-12-ways-to-Sunday orders against them, well, we’re all in some shit, and law firms willing to stand up to the administration will be in ever shorter supply.
Just the latest move of dictatorful bullshit from this administration against the judicial system! Oh, and also Saturday he suspended security clearances for New York AG Letitia James, Alvin Bragg, Norm Eisen, Alexander Vindman and Mark Zaid, the lawyer who defended Vindman, and others on his list of personal enemies.
Dictator Day One sure is putting the pedal to the mat to hurry up and get this constitutional crisis to some kind of conclusion. Hope you’re happy, John Roberts and five friends, with the lawless, hideous Frankenstein you’ve sicced upon the land!
I find it absolutely mind bending that:
1. Any public official, never mind the President of the US, would shake down institutions and companies … and blatantly so
2. Said organizations are capitulating
3. An entire political party believes “this is fine.”
4. The mainstream media is sanewashing this behavior
We are all fucked.
For what it’s worth, I just contacted Paul, Weiss via their LinkedIn messaging offering an irresistible retainer fee.
“Give ya $1 to grow a pair.”