New NC GOP Congressional Candidate Gonna Stuff Your Ballot Box ... WITH SEXXX SECRETS

North Carolina really knows how to pick 'em.

GOP congressional candidate Stony Rushing -- the dumbass gun range owner endorsed by Mark Harris in the Republican primary for the do-over election for North Carolina's district nine seat -- certainly has a fascinating history, as detailed by Judd Legum at Popular Information . The Boss Hogg-cosplaying county commissioner is a fan of conspiracy theories, and accuses Democrats of being ultimately responsible for the election fraud scandal that caused the state Board of Elections to order a new election, even if all the cheating was done by Republican operatives. So it shouldn't be the least bit surprising to find Rushing has a seriously stupid little dirty tricks game in his own past. How did you guess it involves the family-values Bible humper getting caught up in a sex affair? He even admitted that much in a sworn deposition, so ain't no "allegedlys" about it.

Ah, but we're getting ahead of ourselves. Legum dug up the records of Rushing's 2015 court filing in Union County, in which he asked for a no-contact order to protect his tween daughter from stalking, harassment, abuse, and other nastiness from a lady named Tracy Wesolek. Rushing's application for the protective order literally checked all the boxes:

Wow, bet that Wesolek lady must have done some terrible stuff, huh? In the section of the form where the applicant is asked to specify how exactly the defendant has "tormented, terrorized, or terrified the plaintiff named above with the intent to put the plaintiff in reasonable fear for the plaintiff's safety" (including causing the poor kid to "suffer severe emotional distress by placing the plaintiff in fear of death, bodily injury or continued torment or terror"), Rushing didn't exactly reveal a campaign of threats and terror on Wesolek's part:

For an idiot, Rushing does at least have good penmanship. He wrote that Wesolek "has shown jealousy toward my daughter" and that she had "referred to her in messages to relatives as being a barrier to speaking with me." Not clear whose relatives he means there. Even more terrifying, Wesolek had "also made negative remarks in messages to me about my daughter."

Damn, it's like he's describing the latest installment of the SAW torture porn franchise right there. Despite the lack of any detail on the "threat," a judge actually issued a temporary court order.

Now, just to remind us we're living in our very own B-movie simulation, Ms. Wesolek hired herself a lawyer named "John Snyder," which is just close enough to "Dukes of Hazzard" costar John Schneider to make us say "freeze program" in hopes of getting off this particular Holodeck. But nah, Snyder is real, and he took a deposition from Rushing, who, being a smart fella, represented himself.

In the deposition, Rushing, who is married, admitted to having an affair with Wesolek and -- shortly before filing the lawsuit on behalf of his daughter -- professing his love for Wesolek.

Rushing believed Wesolek was stalking his daughter because of this overwhelming evidence: Wesolek's adult son had posted something on Facebook making fun of his daughter's weight, and he was pretty sure Wesolek secretly ran another account that said mean things, too, though he admitted he had no proof at all.

Snyder told Legum he believes the whole protective order was a ploy by Rushing to inoculate himself from gossip about the affair, by portraying Wesolek as a "psycho stalker" with an unhealthy obsession with his daughter, therefore nobody would believe the crazy lady.

Not surprisingly, even after Snyder suggested he let the matter drop to avoid making an ass of himself, Rushing insisted on a trial, and didn't THAT go beautifully!

Rushing, still representing himself, took the stand as the first witness. News of the unusual trial had gotten around and local attorneys crowded into the courtroom to watch the action. It didn't last long.

Under cross-examination, Rushing admitted to his affair with Wesolek. Rushing was also forced to acknowledge that he had no evidence that Wesolek had sent any communications at all to his daughter. Confronted with the fact that Wesolek could not be held responsible for the actions of her college-aged son, Rushing pledged to get him kicked out of school.

After Rushing's testimony, Snyder made an oral motion to the judge to dismiss the case. The judge granted the motion and vacated the temporary no-contact order.

Legum doesn't say whether Rushing actually managed to get Wesolek's son kicked out of school, or for that matter whether the seeming threat caused the judge to look over the tops of her/his glasses with a "did you just say that in court, Elmer?" glare.

Ever the diligent reporter, Legum asked Rushing about the whole mess, and got a nice preview of what North Carolinians can look forward to if this guy makes it to Congress:

Rushing said that he filed for a no-contact order because Wesolek was "saying things about my daughter." Asked to elaborate on Wesolek's conduct, Rushing claimed that "as part of the judge's order" he was not supposed to talk about it. That claim is false. The judge dismissed Rushing's case and did not issue any additional orders.

As for whether he had an affair with Wesolek -- which he admitted in the deposition -- Rushing saw the chance to do some EXCELLENT grandstanding about Dan McCready, the Democrat who'll be running in the do-over. Because why answer a question about your own behavior when you can deflect?

He promised Popular Information an exclusive interview "of everyone I had sex with until virginity to today" once Popular Information asked Democrat Dan McCready a series of questions, including whether McCready supported the Green New Deal or partial birth abortion.

Rushing quickly ended the interview and immediately posted about it on Facebook.

And of course that's still up today on Rushing's Facebook, because dumbass:

Had a very nice reporter from Washington ask me about my sexual history today. I made a deal with him and I will make it to others in the media.

I will give an exclusive interview about my sexual history from loss of virginity to today to the reporter who can get Dan McCready to answer these three questions;

Dan McCready, will you vote for partial birth abortion including killing the child outside the womb?

Dan McCready, will you vote for the Green New Deal?

Dan McCready, when were you told that organizations campaigning for you were tipped off by the NCSBE about the Bladen County Election Investigation?

Congress really needs more good ol' boys who use the courts to smear their former lovers and then, when caught, point at someone else and cry "He won't deny he cheated!!" It's North Fucking Carolina, so it could happen, too.

Also, Rushing had some important thoughts about those dumb Democrat ladies who wore white to mark the centennial of women getting the vote. Voting, schmoting, the white outfits are really about KILLING BABIES:

Gee, how did the North Carolina Republicans ever get mixed up with a ne'er do well like that dude who tried to steal an election for Mark Harris? It's so very out of character.

And with that, this is your OPEN THREAD, since Editrix is at the end of a one hundred year journey back from Mexico and Evan is sick with the bone spurs and ain't nobody else here but us chickens!

[ Popular Information ]

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Send us money and support smart, fact-based fart jokes.