Boy, These Montana 'Pastors' Running For Senate And All Their Different Names And GoFundMes, I Don't Know!

That there is some world-class kitsch

Meet William James Dean and Sarah Dean -- or Daniel Lane Dean and Priscilla Dawn or Priscilla Baer or Pastor Victoria Dawn. They have so many names! But for very good reasons!

“I just didn’t like it, I didn’t like his name because they called him Dan and I just didn’t see him as a Dan," Sarah Dean said. "And he thought that it was because I prayed about it and I got an answer, but no, I honestly wanted him to be a William. And I told him, you have to be a William. I didn’t like his name and all these complications that went with me thinking of him being a Dan and I’m just like, ‘I’m over this.’”

See, very good reasons like that! Sometimes, their names interact, like when Priscilla Dawn sent $135 via GoFundMe for Sarah's "women's ministry," which needed $3500 to "feed the widows in India." Their church? It does so many things too!

William and Sarah are listed on the “Church of the Bridge” page of Bridge Institution as “coaches in divine destiny and aligning your life, business, or job to God’s plan for your life.” The institution’s services run the gamut, from helping heroin-addicted military veterans, to large-scale engineering projects.

That is many things! Or for $244,

Bride of Christ customers get prophetic messages and prayer, a deep healing session, a jeweled crown and, among other things, a presentation of the customer’s business to funders at www.bridgeinstitution.com, which is presented as “an institution that funds small businesses.”

Why have none of you sent me a jeweled crown yet, for Jesus?

The Bridge Institution is also a "non-profit scientific research institution founded to discover and implement solutions to mankind's most intractable problems." FUCK they are busy! Also busy writing children's books, making dresses from curtains, and running against Montana's Democratic senator, Jon Tester, as both Democrat (she) and Republican (he), and HOW do they find the TIME????

Also, they have a plan to completely remake the US economy without debt, because debt enslaves us (TRUE, ask Puerto Rico) and other things too, and the people who have met them are like "well OF COURSE we thought they were grifters, duh, but they seem to honestly be true believers about this," but even though William James Dean "explains his platform clearly," as opposed to explaining clearly like "when did you guys get married?" or "HUH???" the story focuses, correctly, on how fucking nuts this all this, as it should.

As we say, read the whole thing. 

[ Missoulian ]