BREAKING: Harry Whittington Released From Hospital

Dick Cheney's shooting victim, Texas lawyer Harry Whittington, has just been released from a Corpus Christi hospital. Doctors say Whittington is in "excellent health." The Vice President, as well as late-night comics around the country, just breathed huge sighs of relief.

Whittington -- wearing a tasteful dark suit, impressively crisp white shirt, and gold tie -- spoke to reporters outside the hospital. He said he was "deeply sorry for everything that Vice President Cheney and his family had to go through this week."

 Whittington is the one apologizing? "Mr. Vice-President, I'm really sorry I got in the way of your bird shot..." Yeah, and those rascally WMDs are really sorry that they sprouted legs and snuck out of Iraq...

 Man Shot By Cheney To Leave Hospital [AP]