British Rag 'Daily Mail' Can't Stop Puking Over That Nice Princess Woman's Gross Toes

Apr 11, 2016

Princess ... Kate? That very pretty woman who married Prince William. She is quite lovely! Her sister has a nice butt! She wears really nice clothes that always seem appropriate! She had very bad morning sickness while she was pregnant! That is literally all we know about her, because we are not goddamned monarchists and we don't bow to no goddamn queen! (You can ask Miss Manners, she is always explaining it. That and how you don't call either Bill Clinton or Jimmy Carter "Mr. President" -- NOT because they are stupid Democrats who don't deserve an honorific, but because there is only one Mr. President, and that is THAT ONE, Mr. Sexxxy Obama.)

My point is, and I do have one, the Daily Mail is a grotesque shitrag and all the news that will fit in their lorry today is about how their nice princess duchess person did not get a pedicure and then she took her shoes off to walk in Gandhi's footprints on a trip and she did not even have toenail polish on and the Daily Mail is the 245th biggest website in the United States and it is NOT EVEN AMERICAN and it is even bigger than Twitchy (which is like the 800th biggest website in the United States) and I am going to kill myself now bye.

Also, Dick Morris already bookmarked this story.

Let us read the thing as long as we can stand it.

She packed 15 outfits carefully chosen to give a nod to her host's culture and local style - but one element of pre-tour preparation that the Duchess of Cambridge neglected was to get a pedicure.
The Duchess, who is on a seven day official visit to India and Bhutan with Prince William, slipped off her shoes during a visit to the Gandhi Smiriti museum this afternoon, revealing her unpolished toes.

And that's it for us! But let us look at some pictures, which we have cropped because we are mostly looking at the captions and we don't want to have to pay Getty or AFP for them anyway. In these captions, one copy editor seems to be whimpering valiantly at the violence inherent in the system.