Is This The Right Amount To Get Mad At Beer?

We want to make sure we get mad at beer correctly, should we feel led by the Lord.

By now we've all watched Kid Rock attempting to shoot at some Bud Light because the beer was nice to a transgender person. Or we've heard about it and decided not to watch it because nobody was really watching Kid Rock do anything before, ain't no fuckin' reason to start now.

"I'm shooting my guns at beer!" Okeydoke, Kid Rock! We imagine you have a lot of things in your life to be pretty bitter about. Let's not take it all out on beer.

Anyway, it's all very dramatic.

And then there was that guy Benny Johnson who has the Stranger Danger face, GRRR ARGH angrily telling Bud Light that "You will kneel before us and you will apologize. Until then, no Christian, no person of faith, no red blooded American — if you have red blood in your veins, then you do not buy a Bud Light product."

Which ... we just ...

 Giphy 

What do we even say?

How are these people real?

Anyway, we saw a video on the internet today.

“he destroyed the wrong beer. He broke the busch light cans 😭”

— Victoria 🎀 🔆 (@Victoria 🎀 🔆) 1681831987 

Lordt.

If you look closely at the TikTok, you'll see that it appears to be Walmart and the cops' little outfits say "Topeka." (Cops love it when you refer to their uniforms as "little outfits.")

As the tweeter above notes, and as the TikTok notes, the very smart person in the video having a temper tantrum at beer is actually doing alcohol abuse to Busch Light, so they are even stupider than they look, which is quite a feat, since the dude in the video looks like a store brand version of Kyle Rittenhouse, which is quite a feat, because Kyle Rittenhouse looks like a store brand version of Kyle Rittenhouse. (Yes, we know Anheuser-Busch makes Busch Light too, but it is not a Busch Light boycott.)

When we saw that video, we thought, oh boy, that is a person who has probably had sex before.

 Forbes says this indeed happened last night in Topeka, Kansas, and that the human man in the video is 44 years old , which makes this even sadder than it was two paragraphs ago. His name is Dustin Cain. It says he was also charged with exposing his junk in public. Forbes says it doesn't know if the man showed his junk at the Walmart, or somewhere else. (It's not in the video, thank God.)

The police have not specified a motive, but people are speculating it could be about how some very Ford Tough white conservative dudes are treating their Bud Lights like common Dixie Chicks CDs because their masculinity feels threatened by the fact that some transgender person, somewhere, might be drinking a Bud Light.

(Please note that when we refer to these white dudes as "Ford Tough," we are intending to be hurtful but not literal, as we will now twist the knife by pointing out that Ford is extremely supportive of LGBTQ+ issues. Cry about it, white conservative dude losers.)

(It should go without saying, but transgender people are the ones who are actually Ford Tough.)

(Also just to keep being mean, we will do one more parentheses where we note that white conservative dudes who drive Chevy and Dodge trucks are also supporting extremely LGBTQ+ friendly corporations with their dollars. LMAO.)

In summary and in conclusion, here is another very cool guy, a hate preacher named Tommy McMurtry, who is very happy that Bud Light is in trouble now, and says he will stop drinking Dr. Pepper if he finds out Dr. Pepper is a woman. "I always thought it was a guy," he says.

“Christian hate-preacher Tommy McMurtry is thrilled that Bud Light is getting backlash for having a transgender spokesperson. "If Dr. Pepper turns out, this whole time, was a woman... I'll quit drinkin' it."”

— Hemant Mehta (@Hemant Mehta) 1681844940 

If he finds out he's been drinking a woman this whole time, and not a guy? Boy I don't know.

OPEN THREAD.

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