But What Have We Done For You Lately?

Wonkette: The kids are all right!

I was so busy turning FIFTY last week that I accidentally forgot that March 1 marked 11 years since I bought Wonkette for $27 and a sandwich from our dear departed Ken Layne — weep weep, motherfuckers! — and I haven't even run it into the ground yet. 

WAVY LINES WHOOSH WHOOSH REMEMBER! Palace Coup At Your Wonkette 

Give it time!

In fact, in that 11 years we've grown from "just me, crying, plus people we were literally paying EIGHT DOLLARS A POST" (I inherited that pay structure like I inherited the pregnant cat that came with our house; I eventually fixed it, and the cat) to four full time writers — your Doks and Robyns on policy, your Evans and SERs on politics and culture and can-you-believe-this-bullshit — and several part-time (hi Liz and Gary and Michael and sometimes Erik Loomis!). A couple times a week I have an assistant! (Glenn can't part-time me too much these days with his new waiter job, and he has bequeathed his assistancy to his sister Felicia, but he is now live-in lovers with our nephew, so we are all stuck with each other — WITH LOVE!) We have a gif artist! We have a bartender!  

And we're doing great sweetie. I think. I am pretty sure. I'm not crying nearly as much anyway, and also I live in a mansion. (Don't worry, it is a mansion in Detroit. )

Sometimes dicks sue us! It has not worked out for them yet. Thanks West Virginia ACLU, and thank you John Phillips Esq. in Miami! And hell, thanks to Don Blankenship and Larry Klayman too. We couldn't have beat them without them.

BEATING THEM! Court-Ordered, Judge-Approved Things Wonkette Can Say About Larry Klayman: A List! 

And that's it around these parts! We (and you, we hope!) are all hanging on and learning to breathe again after Steve Bannon's fun times games of SHOCK AND AWE and also trying to murder us, which was NO FUN. (It's no fun for a lot of our friends right now with red state governments wilding and trying to legislate them out of existence. These fucking people never stop. So you know what? Neither do we.) 

Thank you for being our friend. Thank you for keeping Wonkette, the world's only blog, keeping on, with no ads, no paywall, no venture capital investors, and only the $$ support from Good People Like You. (Do not send us money you cannot afford! Do not feel bad about not sending us money you cannot afford! Remember, I live in a mansion!) (In Detroit.)

Here's to 5000 more.

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