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I'll give these reporters a hand. Here are 10 questions I'd ask Mitt Romney:

Mr. Romney, how would you implement healthcare reform on the national level without it using the key features of your Massachusetts reform that were used in the Affordable Care Act?

Mr. Romney, how is your position on gay rights different than it was in 2002, and why did you make these changes?

Mr. Romney, do you see any contradiction in attacking the president for spending too much time at Harvard, since you were also a law student there?

Mr. Romney, if Pres. Obama was too inexperienced for national office because his only prior elected positions were as a first term senator and state legislator, and he lacks executive or private sector experience, why are you considering Marco Rubio for Vice President?

Mr. Romney, how is your position on abortion rights different than it was in 2002, and why did you make these changes?

Mr. Romney, why have you gone from being a financial supporter of Planned Parenthood to promising to "end" it?

Mr. Romney, do you believe there is a constitutional right to privacy?

Mr. Romney, besides your belief that Pres. Obama is not handling it correctly, what is your position on the Afghanistan War?

Mr. Romney, since you've endorsed the Ryan budget, do you also support converting Medicare to a private voucher program?

Mr. Romney, do you a specific plan for immigration reform, or are you still in favor of "self-deportation"?

AND THAT WAS JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD!!!

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I'll put away my rape-wand.

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An 'Enigma Variations' variation?

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Just about everything else that comes out of his mouth lately is a lie, so yeah.

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Romney's spokespeople will clarify tomorrow that he meant the opposite of whatever he said.

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He'll find a way to change his mind on this.

Just watch.

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