622 Comments
User's avatar
Innocent_Bystander's avatar

Remember when Candace Owens was a heartbeat away from the Presidency?

Caepan's avatar

So… in the Brigitte Macron lawsuit, Candace will plead insanity?

marydn's avatar

Seems like the logical thing to do which means she won't.

Fender Deluxe's avatar

Why does this nincompoop have a platform?

DJ Teetop's avatar

I don't think there is any 'almost' about the making out with the mom part.

Also, too, I'm sure her lawyers will play this in court. "Your Honor, my client is obviously deranged, she can't be held liable for what she said about Brigette Macron."

Damkina's avatar

Her family needs to hold an intervention.

LOU LOU's avatar

My cat Beau disagrees.

Sherry's avatar

If she wrote a book about this it would DEFINITELY be the top winner of the contest it Was A Dark and Stormy Night competition.

Whack a DOODLE DOODLE DOO. Someone needs to take some meds. I can only imagine all the voices in her head have a fist fight daily.

Mark's avatar

"I'm a time traveler"

"Oh really? I'm an alien from another planet!"

"Well, I was an Egyptian princess in a past life!!"

{All three together} "WHY AM I BEING PERSECUTED!!!"

SR's avatar

So kirk was an x-man kind of thing, but sadly unable to either anticipate his own death (despite his gift of time-travel) or protect himself from a projectile. He must have been bottom of his class in his special school.

Andy Reed's avatar

So Charlie Kirk was actually Sissy "Carrie" Spacek and Candace Owens is from -- the third moon of Jupiter?

Where the HELL are the Men in Black when we need them?

Goonemeritus's avatar

Finally someone brave enough to blow the lid off all these time traveling shenanigans,

(((What Fresh Hell Is This)))'s avatar

Candace Owens being from another planet explains a lot.

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Halfworld

Batty Cat's avatar

I don't like that she likes cats. She clearly doesn't UNDERSTAND cats, which is in keeping with the rest of her analysis. But keep her away from the cats, please. They don't deserve this.

Caepan's avatar
27mEdited

Cats hold Candace Owens in contempt.

Or, at least they hold her in more contempt than they do others.

Batty Cat's avatar

I don't know where Owens is from, but I know where she belongs. Unfortunately for her, republicans keep cutting funding for mental health initiatives. So maybe we send her where they send the rest of the untreated - prison. For once I think that'd be a good outcome.

Deano Stecchino's avatar

She rakes in Millions for making up the most fantastical bullshit you can imagine! What a racket she came up with. I hate her with a white hot passion & I would gladly reduce her cranium to a viscous lumpy pulp. BUT I admire the hell out of her ability to spin a yarn that leaves the dull witted suckers slack jawed. I’m so jealous that I could make up riveting bullshit stories too, but I do not have the balls to step out in front of the world & try to pass them off as true with a straight face.

Andy Reed's avatar

But her cranium is ALREADY a viscous lumpy pulp. That's why it's so good at creating pulp fiction.

Goonemeritus's avatar

I assume we invaded Greenland, Canada, and Iceland. I worry that Bjork will be kind of pissed.